More Than Friends?
by Leann2
Summary: With the Scoobies scattered far and wide, Xander is left in LA to care for Dawn as she attends school. Was that a good idea? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 Did We?

More Than Friends?  
  
Author: Jerrie L. Hooper  
  
Summary: With the Scoobies scattered far and wide, Xander is left in LA to care for Dawn as she attends school. Was that a good idea?  
  
Disclaimers:  
  
Mr. Whedon owns all. I own nothing (except a very old car and a cranky cockatiel). This is written for my pleasure (actually, it was to get the little voices in my head to shut up, but "sssshhh" you didn't hear that from me.).  
  
Yes, I did read it (and you'll know "it" when you get there) in a book. However, I do not remember the author or title. It was set in Texas, if that's any help.  
  
Also, laws vary from state to state. Don't depend on anything I say to keep you out of trouble. I may have worked for an attorney but that was years ago and I don't remember squat.  
  
Rating: R for sexual content & mild language  
  
Spoilers: Through Chosen and Home. However, since this is my little universe, Angel Season 5 is not happening. Angel and Gang are at W & H. Spike is still dusty. Everyone else is covered. There are multiple references to seasons 1-7 of Buffy.  
  
Author's Notes: I actually don't like author's notes. I was printing out something to read once and when I took the author's notes out it was 28 pages shorter. However, I needed somewhere to thank my wonderful beta – Star Mouse. Thanks ever so much for encouraging me to post. I do appreciate the encouragement and advice.  
  
Chapter 1: Did We?  
  
July 19, 2003  
  
Xander stirred from sleep, his senses slow to awaken from the deep languor that had overtaken him.  
  
Something wasn't right!  
  
It was actually kinda odd. After years in Sunnydale, waking with the feeling of impending doom was "normal", but for some reason, even that normal was off this morning.  
  
Maybe it was the incredible dreams from last night. At least she had been faceless in this dream. Sometimes it was Anya's face he saw, but waking from those dreams only made him lonely. He didn't feel lonely this morning. He felt...he felt...content. Content. That was the word he was looking for. The room, what he could see from where he was lying, was pleasant. The bed was cozily warm, the soft cotton of the sheets brushing against his bare skin. He could hear the clock ticking in the hall, the breathing next to him...  
  
Breathing!  
  
There definitely shouldn't be any breathing.  
  
His back was to whoever was in the room with him and the sound was close enough that it was probably on the bed with him. At least, he assumed it was a whoever and not a whatever. Actually, with his track record it wasn't safe to assume that.  
  
A soft groan made him freeze. Definitely feminine. He felt shifting on the bed behind him and craned his neck, trying to see over his shoulder without actually turning his body. He didn't want to wake her up. No, he couldn't see anything. Suddenly, Xander reached to make sure his eye patch was in place. He was still self-conscious about it.  
  
He was so glad Dawn wasn't home. He had to get her, whoever she was, up and out. But, first he had to find some pants.  
  
The last thing he remembered was sitting down in the sports bar to watch the game and he had definitely been wearing pants at the time.  
  
There was more shifting on the bed, and Xander rolled to his back. He felt the long, smooth, bare legs brush against his own. She had misplaced her pants too.  
  
I can't believe I picked up a woman in a bar and brought her home.  
  
Brown hair. Brown hair and a very feminine hand wearing a familiar silver ring. The hand was attached to a long arm and a bare—BARE!!—shoulder. Her pants weren't the only thing she'd lost.  
  
He noticed the blue eyes then. Blue eyes with a slight hint of worry.  
  
What the hell is going on?  
  
His mind raced, trying to find some reason for being in bed with Dawn, especially without pants. His mind wasn't coming up with any explanation that was good.  
  
What have I done? 


	2. Chapter 2 Depression?

Chapter 2: Depression?  
  
July 4, 2003 (Two weeks earlier)  
  
It was the crossbow tonight. Funny, she hadn't seen him with a weapon in a couple of weeks. He cradled it on his lap, left hand caressing the bow while his right hand lifted the bottle to his lips again. She wondered how much he could drink before alcohol poisoning became a danger. She had only seen him go truly overboard a couple of times before, both after the wedding that wasn't. She wondered what had prompted it tonight.  
  
She watched as he finished off the bottle and let it drop to the side of the chair. He continued to play with the crossbow absentmindedly before carefully turning it so that it was pointed at his chest.  
  
She gasped. What was he doing? It wasn't loaded, but surely he couldn't be considering...Oh, God, please no! Not Xander! She couldn't bear to lose him too.  
  
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Would it never end?  
  
She looked back through the open doorway and saw that the crossbow was back in his lap. Maybe it had been a momentary aberration.  
  
She watched for a few more minutes. When the hand on the crossbow relaxed and his head tilted back, she knew he had gone to sleep. She carefully backed away from the door and tiptoed to her room.  
  
Was it possible? Could he really be contemplating suicide? It was so unlike him. But so much had happened lately. The collapse of Sunnydale and life as they knew it. Anya's death. Spike's death as well, though Xander pretended not to care. He still had his friends but in a not-here- at-the-moment kind of way. Willow had taken the scythe to the coven in England to help locate the new, baby slayers. Giles was in England as well. He and the surviving watchers were trying to reorganize and regroup. Buffy, Faith and Robin had taken the surviving Sunnydale group of baby slayers to the Ohio hellmouth. The trip was being used as a recognizance/training mission. Andrew had tagged along as chief cook and bottle washer.  
  
Hank Summers had actually been in the country long enough to throw a fit about Buffy's plans to move to Ohio. He insisted that Dawn stay in California until she made up the semester cancelled due to the "sinkhole" that appeared under Sunnydale. Since the courthouse and all the papers that gave Buffy legal guardianship of Dawn were at the bottom of a crater, Buffy had been unable to argue. She had settled into Hank's house with Dawn and enrolled her in summer school. However, there had been an increase in activity around the hellmouth in Ohio three weeks ago. When Ohio called the slayers away, Xander agreed to stay in LA, while Dawn made up the schoolwork over the summer. Which is why they were staying at Hank's house just outside of LA.  
  
It was the reason Dawn was alone with Xander.  
  
If only Willow were here. She could almost always cheer Xander up when things were crashing in on him. And if she couldn't, she offered a shoulder to cry on.  
  
Well, Willow's not here. I am. What can I do that will cheer Xander up or at least get him to stop thinking about suicide?  
  
Dawn threw herself across the bed, deep in thought. Why would Xander be thinking of it anyway? Town he grew up in was destroyed. Not much she could do about that one. Woman he loved was killed. She couldn't fix that either. She could try to find him another girlfriend but it was really too soon for that. Xander and Anya had technically been apart for over a year, but when the house was stuffed to the rafters with girls, it was hard to hide that the sexfest had resumed.  
  
Maybe he only thought about it when he was drinking. Maybe he only drank when he thought about suicide. Had he been drinking every weekend she was gone?  
  
Dawn sighed in exasperation, her mind spinning all the possibilities over and over.  
  
She would just have to spend more time with him. He never drank in excess when she was around or when he thought she was going to be around. Xander took his responsibility for her care very seriously. Xander had been encouraging her to spend weekends with a couple of girls she had met at school. Now she knew why. In fact, she was supposed to be spending the night with one of them tonight but when everything there had exploded into a family argument, she had offered to go home and the parents had been quick to accept.  
  
Dawn decided to go ahead and get some sleep. Xander was out for the night and she would make sure to stay close the rest of the weekend. Maybe try to find out what he was thinking about, worried about, anything that was on his mind. Once Monday arrived, she would have 'til next weekend to come up with a plan of action. 


	3. Chapter 3 Deceit

Chapter 3: Deceit  
  
July 5, 2003  
  
"Dawn, what are you doing here so early?" Xander exclaimed as he shuffled into the kitchen.  
  
Dawn made sure Xander saw her eyes roll as she turned toward him. She continued whipping the eggs in the bowl without pause as she looked him over. He looked tired and his eye was a bit red, but he didn't look too bad for someone who had polished off a bottle of Scotch. A slight frown pleated her forehead as her thoughts continued. *Now how am I supposed to know what someone who finished a bottle of Scotch looks like?*  
  
Xander finally continued, "I thought you were going to sleep late, shop and have lunch at the mall."  
  
"They had some family stuff come up, so they brought me home early," Dawn said, as she gazed directly into his eye. She didn't feel the least guilty. She was telling the truth.  
  
"Oh, okay. What are you making?" Xander said.  
  
"French toast. Want some?"  
  
"Sure. Nothing I like better than having a woman slaving over a hot stove," joked Xander.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes again. "You better be glad Buffy and Willow aren't around to hear you. You would be in soooo much trouble."  
  
"And only when the distance between me and the dynamic duo can be measured in states and oceans would I even think it. With the scary amount of mojo those two are connected with, they might even pick up that far."  
  
Dawn hmmphed and turned back to her cooking. Her cooking had improved over the last few months with Andrew's help. There were only a couple of nights she and Xander had sat down over one of her meals, and decided quickly that pizza delivery was a good idea. They still ate takeout most of the time since almost all of Xander's cooking skills involved breakfast or a takeout menu.  
  
"Did you have plans for today," Dawn inquired.  
  
"Not really. I had a couple of ideas I thought I'd try to get down on paper. Was there something you wanted to do?"  
  
"No. I'll just finish up my homework and do some laundry. We could watch some movies later, if you like."  
  
"Sure thing, Dawnie. I'll even spring for Chinese."  
  
"Great! Now, how do you want your toast? Slightly burnt or really burnt?"  
  
Author's Note: You will notice the unattractive use of asterisks. Apparently, all italicized text is converted to plain text when it is uploaded. The asterisks are to denote thoughts. 


	4. Chapter 4 Dare I?

Chapter 4: Dare I?  
  
Author's Note: Yes, I know. Another one. Just wanted to apologize for the delay in updating. When you live in the sticks reliable internet service is not easy to find. However, as a bonus you get Chapters 3 & 4.  
  
They spent a pleasant weekend. Saturday evening they did movie night. Dawn even persuaded Xander to watch "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" with her. Of course, she was repaid by having to sit through the special edition of "Die Another Day" and ALL the DVD extras.  
  
Sunday, Xander took Dawn shopping at an open-air market with a carnival- like atmosphere. Dawn was determined to see everything and drug Xander from booth to booth. She found a silver ring that she fell in love with and Xander, after much pleading and promises to do all the laundry for a week, caved and bought it for her.  
  
The next day was back to school, work, and their regular weekday routine. As usual, Xander worked days while Dawn endured school, but they spent most evenings together, sometimes working on her homework, watching television or just talking.  
  
Thursday evening Dawn had settled in at the kitchen bar with the never- ending homework. Xander had commandeered the kitchen table so that he could spread out the plans on his current project.  
  
"Hey, Dawn, are you going to Amber's house tomorrow night?"  
  
Dawn hesitated. She didn't want to leave him alone this weekend and still hadn't come up with a good plan. "I'm not sure. I don't know if they've managed to work out something on their family catastrophe."  
  
"Catastrophe? I thought it was just a family squabble or something from the way you talked."  
  
"Well, Amber was referring to it as a catastrophe. I just didn't bother explaining that when you're from Sunnydale 'catastrophe' is kind of relative."  
  
"What's going on? Or is it not a share thing?"  
  
"Everyone will know soon enough anyway. Amber's sister is pregnant. She wants to keep the baby and so she's been hiding the fact that she's pregnant from her parents. She always wears big, baggy clothes and they just now found out when even big and baggy couldn't hide her stomach anymore. She's six months. They say she's too young to raise a child."  
  
"How old is she?" inquired Xander.  
  
"Fifteen."  
  
"Fifteen! That's a boatload of responsibility to be facing so young. Where's the guy in all this?"  
  
"I don't know where he fits into the picture," said Dawn. She hesitated, then continued, "Would you be all responsible and stuff if it were you?"  
  
"Well, you don't know how you'll react in any situation until you're actually there, but I'd like to think I would support my partner in whatever decision she made." He turned back to his blueprints.  
  
Dawn just sat looking at Xander.  
  
Xander finally looked up at her and said, "What?"  
  
"You're a good man, Xander Harris."  
  
"Well, I try."  
  
"Yes. Yes, you do."  
  
Dawn picked up her pencil and turned back to her trig, or she tried to anyway. Her eyes and thoughts kept going back to Xander. There had to be a solution. Her thoughts returned to the conversation of a few moments before.  
  
Suddenly, Dawn froze, her gaze on Xander.  
  
Xander looked up as the lead in her pencil snapped from the pressure of her fingers.  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Need me to sharpen that for you?"  
  
"Uh, no. No. I'll do it."  
  
Dawn slowly walked to the office, hand clutching her pencil so tight her knuckles were white. As she inserted the pencil into the sharpener, listening to it slowly grind away, she gave her thoughts free rein. The solution was simple in an amazingly complicated way. And the outcome, while good in a Xander-will-be-alive kind of way, would be life changing for her, whatever happened.  
  
*But how do I get the job done?*  
  
It wouldn't be easy. She needed to do some research and make a plan.  
  
Who knew when she was sneaking around reading her mom's romance novels all those years ago that it would one day be useful, even inspirational.  
  
*I just hope he doesn't hate me.* 


	5. Chapter 5 Discussion

Chapter 5: Discussion  
  
July 19, 2003 (Back to the morning after.)  
  
His mind raced, trying to find some reason for being in bed with Dawn, especially without pants. His mind wasn't coming up with any explanation that was good.  
  
*What have I done?*  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you, Dawn."  
  
"I know you would never hurt me Xander. But you might want to kill me when you find out what I've done."  
  
"What you've done! What did you do?"  
  
"I did this. I planned this and then I arranged everything so that you would stop thinking about committing suicide."  
  
"Suicide?" Xander's mind flashed, *What the...?* But his brain immediately shut down as his eye shifted lower. Dawn had raised her hand to touch his face as she spoke and he was now staring at her bare breasts.  
  
Xander slammed his eye shut. It was becoming very clear what the "this" Dawn had arranged was. Thoughts tumbled through his head. *Buffy's going to kill me. Suicide! Where did she get that idea? What do I do now?* All this, while his mind told his body to ignore the tug it had felt while looking at Dawn's body.  
  
Xander rolled away from Dawn. It wasn't until Dawn gasped and tugged at the blankets that he realized he was taking the covers with him. He relinquished them but that left him standing next to the bed without a stitch. He reached down and plucked the bedspread up leaving the sheet and blanket over Dawn. Dawn averted her eyes, a blush rising in her cheeks. *Good! It was good to know that being in a room with a naked man made her uncomfortable.*  
  
"Dawn, I think we should shower and get dressed. We need to talk, but I think talking with our clothes on would be a much better idea."  
  
"Okay," Dawn agreed, as she stood, careful to keep the blanket around her. Xander noticed her slight grimace as she stood.  
  
"Dawn, use the shower in here. Get the water good and hot, and use the shower massage. It should help with the soreness. I'll go get you some clothes."  
  
Dawn nodded, blushing again as she shuffled into the bathroom.  
  
Xander ran both hands over his face and then looked down as the spread fell.  
  
"I'm a dead man!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Xander turned away from the coffeepot at the sound of Dawn's entrance. She looked better. Well, maybe not. But she was definitely looking more clothed. Xander picked up the two coffee cups and carried them to the table, setting one on each side. He glanced at Dawn, still standing in the doorway, before turning back to the refrigerator to grab the chocolate syrup. He set it down next to the cup opposite him and then turned his gaze back to Dawn. She avoided his eye, but began moving toward the table. Both reached for their chairs, pulled them out and sat down simultaneously.  
  
"I don't even know where to start."  
  
Dawn raised her eyes as he spoke but dropped them again.  
  
"Dawn, please look at me."  
  
Dawn raised her eyes back to his face.  
  
"We have to talk about this. We need to be totally honest with each other, no more secrets, and no hiding feelings. There has obviously been stuff going on that you didn't think you could talk to me about and we need to get it all out in the open. Ok?"  
  
"Ok," mumbled Dawn.  
  
Xander took a deep breath as he ran his hands down his face, but as always, careful to leave the eye patch in place. *I really don't want to know.* He finally plowed forward.  
  
"Did we have sex last night?" *Please say no...please say no.*  
  
"Yes."  
  
*Damn.*  
  
"Twice."  
  
"TWICE? Xander exclaimed. He shook his head and then continued, "Did I hurt you and I mean, in any way?"  
  
Dawn averted her eyes. Her gaze finally settled on the coffee cup in front of her. She picked up the chocolate syrup and started to drizzle it into the coffee before replying.  
  
"I'm fine Xander. Not all fun & games at first, but I didn't really think about it for very long, at least until this morning. I was kind of reminded when I got up."  
  
"Which brings us to another question? Did we use protection both times?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did we use protection either time?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What was I thinking?"  
  
Dawn finally stopped with the chocolate syrup before looking at Xander.  
  
"You weren't, which was kinda the point."  
  
"Care to share?"  
  
"Well, I knew that if you knew what was going on you would never have sex with me."  
  
"You got that right! Has it occurred to you that it's illegal for us to have sex?"  
  
"Hey!" Dawn protested as she thumped the syrup bottle back on the table. "Research girl here. Sixteen is the age of consent for sex. I looked it up. I'm seventeen so it's not a problem."  
  
"Sixteen is the age of consent between minors, Dawn. I'm not a minor. If your father or Buffy chose to, they could file statutory rape charges. Since I'm responsible-adult-guy, it's even possible that the police or school officials could file the charges if they found out."  
  
"But I wanted this. I planned it. How could they do that and anyway how would they find out?"  
  
"Dawn, if you're pregnant, they are going to find out eventually, unless you decide not to go through with it."  
  
"Why would I not go through with it since that was the point. Well, one of them."  
  
"Whoa! Wait a minute! You mean you wanted to get pregnant? Why would you want to get pregnant?"  
  
"So you wouldn't commit suicide."  
  
"Suicide? That's the second time you've mentioned that. Whatever gave you that idea?"  
  
"You did. You know two weeks ago when I came home from Amber's early?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember."  
  
"They brought me home Friday night. And I saw you. You were drinking and you pointed a crossbow at your chest and I can't lose you too, Xander. I just can't!" Dawn's voice rose with each word until she was practically yelling by the time she finished. Tears tumbled down her cheeks.  
  
It was more than Xander could stand. He was up and around the table almost before she finished. He pulled her into his arms to comfort her, snatching up a tissue to dry her tears. He had planned to have this discussion with the safety of the table between them, but he didn't think that would be possible. There was definitely more going on here than he knew about.  
  
Xander led Dawn toward the living room, grabbing the box of tissues on the way. He sat her down on the sofa and sat next to her, pulling her head to his shoulder and murmuring comforting sounds until her tears subsided. When she was somewhat calm, he spoke.  
  
"Dawn, I am not going to kill myself. I haven't even been thinking about it. And you're not going to lose me. Why would you think that?"  
  
Dawn raised tear-drenched eyes to look at him. "I've lost everyone else."  
  
Xander cupped his hand along her cheek, his thumb brushing aside yet another tear as it trailed down her face.  
  
She was right. He had always been around. Buffy had died, come back, and was now in Ohio. Willow had spent months in England after her brush with the dark side and was now there again. Dawn's mother, Tara and then Anya had permanently died. Spike had spent months away from Sunnydale on his soul quest, and now he was gone again. Giles' presence had been pretty much hit and miss, the last couple of years anyway, and her dad was mostly MIA since the divorce. Xander was the only one who had never left her.  
  
"Dawn, no one can make definite promises and no one knows how long they are going to live. But I do promise this, as long as I am alive, I will come running anytime you need me, no matter how far. Okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Now, lets get back to the whole you being pregnant equals me not committing suicide equation. How exactly did you come up with that idea?"  
  
"I read it in one of mom's books. This man's wife died and he was all sad. He was sitting in his office drinking and holding a gun and his secretary saw him. She waited until he was really drunk and then she...you know. She knew he was a responsible guy most of the time. So she told him the next morning that they had slept together, it was possible she was pregnant and he would just have to hang around long enough to find out. So he stopped thinking about killing himself."  
  
"That actually explains several of the conversations we've had recently, but, Dawn, why something so drastic? Why didn't you just talk to me about what you thought was going on?"  
  
"I figured you would just deny it and then be really careful to hide anything else from me. You were already encouraging me to spend almost every weekend with my friends. I thought that was why you wanted me out of the house, to hide what you were doing."  
  
"Not hiding. There was no hiding, okay? When Buffy first left, I was worried, afraid I wouldn't be able to protect you from all the things that go bump in the night."  
  
"Is that why you practiced with weapons every night the first couple of weeks?"  
  
"You saw that?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I wanted to be prepared. But after the second Tuesday night without any major malfunction, I decided that Buffy must be putting off slayer pheromones or something that attracts demons and vampires, or they all migrated to Ohio to be near the hellmouth, because things are just fine without her, fighting wise. We haven't been attacked by anything other worldly since she left. It's been totally un-weird, which is actually kinda weird. You were making new friends, doing well in school. I just wanted you to have a normal life for a little while, go out with friends, shop at the mall, and flirt with guys. All that, without some hell god or apocalypse hanging over your head. That's why I wanted you to be with your friends instead of hanging out with an old guy like me."  
  
"You make it sound like you're ready for a cane. You're only 22, Xander, five years older than me."  
  
"But I'm the same age as Buffy, the person who has been acting as your parent for the last two and a half years."  
  
"But you're not Buffy," Dawn said quietly. "Since she became the slayer..."  
  
"We've all changed a lot over the last seven years."  
  
"Yes, we all have, and that includes me. I may be seventeen, but I've had to deal with a lot more than any average teenager. I think I am mature enough to make some decisions on my own, and I don't appreciate being treated like a child."  
  
"Dawn, the fact that you made this particular choice shows a definite lack in the maturity department."  
  
As Dawn folded her arms and got her stubborn look on her face, Xander sighed. "You know, it would be easier to treat you like an adult if you acted like one." At Dawn's glare, he decided it was a good time to switch topics, sort of. "Dawn, exactly what are you planning to do if you are pregnant? Do you plan to go through with it? What about adoption or abortion?"  
  
"Is that what you want me to do?"  
  
"It's not a matter of what I want, it's about what's best for you. Dawn..."  
  
Dawn interrupted him, her voice rising again, "It's best for me if you don't die." She modulated her voice before continuing, "Xander, there may not be anything to worry about anyway. While it's not the worst time of the month for me to get pregnant, it's not the best either. Since you insist that you're not suicidal, why don't we just wait and see if there is anything to discuss."  
  
Xander hesitated then nodded. "Okay. We'll talk about this again if and when there is something to talk about."  
  
"Good! I'm glad that's over." Dawn's relieved smile lit up her face.  
  
"Hang on. What about the other stuff we need to discuss?"  
  
"What stuff?"  
  
"How you managed to pull this off? What happens with us now? What do we tell Buffy?"  
  
"Buffy!? Why do we have to tell Buffy anything?"  
  
"Dawn, I had sex with my best friend's baby sister. I think she's going to want an explanation."  
  
"We can't tell her. She'll kill me."  
  
"Yeah, right after she kills me."  
  
"Why would she be mad at you? I did this, not you."  
  
Xander shook his head. "Dawn, you don't honestly think that people are going to believe I had nothing to do with this. Most people think that a guy alone for over a month with a beautiful girl will try to seduce her."  
  
Dawn just looked at Xander. *He does think I'm beautiful. Not the point, Dawn. Pull yourself together.* She waited only a beat more before speaking again, "But once I tell them what I did..."  
  
"What exactly did you do?"  
  
"The enchiladas I left for you."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I opened up some cold capsules and mixed them into the enchiladas. Well, not mine. I knew once you got to the sports bar and started on the beers..."  
  
"That I would be putty."  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
Xander stood up and began pacing in front of the couch. "Dawn, do you have any idea how dangerous that was? You could have killed me or if I had gotten into a car...I don't even want to think about what could have happened, the number of people who could have been...What were you thinking?"  
  
"I was thinking about you living, not dying. Do you think I would leave that to chance? I'm not some stupid kid working on a whim, Xander. I made my plan to rescue you and I researched everything very carefully. I made calculations based on the active ingredients in the medicine and your body weight." At Xander's glare, Dawn quickly went on. "I checked research on the effects of mixing drugs and alcohol. I even figured how much time it would take you to finish two beers. I can't think of anything I left to chance. I even made a check list."  
  
"Okay, I give on the safety issue. But there is still the trust issues and the way over-stepping of personal boundaries."  
  
"Trust issues? You don't trust me anymore?"  
  
"Dawn, you betrayed a trust. What about the next time?"  
  
"The next time?"  
  
"The next time you want to do something you know I won't agree to. Will you fall back on this?"  
  
"Xander!" Dawn's voice was colored with hurt.  
  
"I'm just saying, Dawn. You have to consider more than the facts and figures and calculations to a plan. You have to think about how people will think and feel. And not just what they will think of you but of others as well. Which brings us back to people thinking I seduced you."  
  
"But once I tell people what I did, they'll know you didn't have anything to do with it."  
  
"No, no, no, no. You can't ever tell anyone what you did."  
  
"But why? If I just tell them..."  
  
"No. You might—" *What can I tell her, besides the truth?* "People might think that you are being allowed access to drugs and alcohol or that we're not supervising you properly. Buffy and I could get in big trouble."  
  
"Oh, I never thought of that," said Dawn.  
  
*Whew! Close one. Since she doesn't realize what she's done, I'd rather she never found out.*  
  
"Dawn, why don't we just set this aside for the day. Keep ourselves occupied. Go out and do something, but nothing too strenuous. We can finish up our discussion tomorrow. How's that sound?"  
  
"Okay, I guess." Dawn spoke hesitantly. It almost sounded like Xander was trying to change the subject, not that she didn't want to change the subject. It was just strange after the 'We've got to talk about this' stance, that he would change his mind so suddenly. But who cares? *I'm willing to play along.*  
  
"Just let me grab my purse."  
  
Xander was relieved that Dawn decided to go along with his plan. He thought they both needed to step back from this situation and clear their minds before moving forward. Surely a day on the town would help things along. Surely. 


	6. Chapter 6 Dreams

Author's Note: I appreciate all the reviews. It's nice to know that people are reading and enjoying the story.  
  
Chapter 6: Dreams  
  
July 20, 2003  
  
Dawn woke slowly, reality just brushing along the edges of her mind. She stretched languidly, her fluid limbs extending in a graceful ballet of contentment. She felt a slight throbbing low in her body, a lingering effect of the delicious dreams that had made it the second best night she'd had in a long time. A slight blush tinged her cheeks as she thought of the first best night. This was definitely a good way to wake up. Of course, waking up with Xander might have been better if she had been able to wake in his arms. The jumping and bedspread grabbing didn't exactly make for a romantic morning after.  
  
Dawn rolled to her back, hugging her pillow close. Not exactly a good substitute for the weight of Xander's body. Dawn's mind drifted, trying to recapture the feel of him pressing onto her, careful not to crush her. She recalled the feel of his chest flattening her own, her nipples peaked and hard as the feel of his chest hair brought them to attention. Oh, and his mouth, his mouth exploring her body. It would be wonderful to have his mouth on her again.  
  
Dawn heaved a sigh and tossed her pillow across the room. Well, it wasn't going to happen again. Xander hadn't totally freaked, but he definitely wasn't planning a repeat performance. Dawn drug herself from the bed and headed for the shower. Just as well to get started. She wasn't going back to sleep. And wishing for things you can't have is dangerous.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Xander woke with a gasp. His eye widened as it flashed through his mind again what he had been dreaming. He reached for the other side of the bed. Empty. At least it had been a dream. Dreams he could deal with. He had many dreams about sex. They alternated starring Anya, and the "faceless woman," with Faith and a potential or two, occasionally thrown into the mix. This, though, was the first time he had ever dreamed about Dawn. Hopefully, it was only a dream and not subconscious memories. It had been a long, extremely detailed dream, ending only when he had looked down to see Dawn's mouth closing around his...  
  
*Oh, don't go there. Bad, bad Xander. Do not think about Dawn that way. DO NOT think about Dawn that way. *  
  
Xander collapsed back against his pillow. Hoping for a few more moments of rest, he closed his eye, willing sleep to return. What he got was an immediate flash behind his eyelids of pretty, pink nipples, wet and puckered beneath his hovering mouth. Xander's eye popped back open. *Don't go there! Don't go there!*  
  
He tried again to close his eye. It was just way too early on a Sunday morning to get up. This time his closed eyelids were the screen for a little belly button, a gently placed kiss and a short trip down to...Xander jumped up. There was no way he was going back to sleep now. He needed a shower, a cold one, now.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Later, Xander wandered into the kitchen to find Dawn on top of a step stool, changing a light bulb in the kitchen. What caught his eye were her legs. Her very long legs. Her place on the stool put the hem of the denim shorts she wore about even with his eye. They weren't indecent. In fact, she had worn them around him before. He was just extremely sensitive to the tug he felt at the sight of them today. His annoyance with himself made his voice sharper than he planned.  
  
"Dawn, I..." He broke off as he watched Dawn turn quickly. She unbalanced and tilted toward him and his arms automatically went up to catch her. The bulbs didn't fair as well. They shattered on the tile floor. He couldn't put her down. She was barefoot and there was no way to know how far the glass had scattered. Xander carried her toward the living room, followed the whole time by a strange sense of de ja vu. Dawn's eyes never left his face. She was making him nervous.  
  
Xander released the arm under her legs and let them drop, his other arm staying to steady her. *I should have set her down further away.* His eye met hers. What was she thinking? It didn't matter. He had to get away from her. He could feel his body tightening, responding to her. *This is Dawn.* He took a big step back.  
  
"I'll...I'll clean up the glass. You need to get some shoes on, in case I miss some."  
  
"Okay." Dawn was just standing, looking at him.  
  
Xander turned abruptly and headed back to the kitchen, anxious to get away from the feelings that had overcome him. *This is so not good.*  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dawn slowly walked to her bedroom, trying to sort through the last few minutes in her head. Feelings, in her head and in her body, were fighting for the top spot in her brain. Dawn sat on the edge of the bed, lost in thought, making no effort to find her shoes.  
  
Xander's sharp tone, followed by the look on his face as he carried her, then set her on her feet. What did it mean? He had seemed fine yesterday. Why was today different?  
  
The way she felt as Xander swept her off her feet again. His strong arms beneath her. Her arms around his neck. The slow slide of her body against his as he set her on her feet. The little curl in the pit of her stomach. The emptiness when he walked out of the room. What did they mean?  
  
Dawn took a deep breath, puffing her cheeks out and dropping her head, as she exhaled. Dawn looked at the puckering on the front of her T-shirt. *Oh, go away!* She decided she needed to wait a few minutes before returning to the kitchen. 


	7. Chapter 7 Ditching

Chapter 7: Ditching  
  
AN: Since our internet connection once again went into a coma yesterday, you get two chapters again today.  
  
Xander had just put the broom and dustpan away when Dawn returned to the kitchen. He knew it didn't take that long to put on shoes. He wondered what had taken so long. He put on a big, but fake feeling, grin when she looked up at him. She still looked just as serious as she had in the living room.  
  
"Hey, Dawnie, what would you like for breakfast this morning?" Xander clapped his hands together and spun away from her, heading for the refrigerator.  
  
"Xander."  
  
Xander kept walking toward the refrigerator. He opened it and stood in the open door, inspecting the contents. "How about it, Dawnie? Would you like a kitchen sink omelet?"  
  
Xander moved his eye from the refrigerator to Dawn but immediately jerked it back when she opened her mouth to speak. "Or if you don't want that I can probably find all the ingredients for waff..." His voice trailed off as Dawn's hand touched his arm. He looked down at the feminine hand lying against his tanned arm. It looked so delicate but could maneuver a sword or stake a vampire as well as any normal human could, maybe better. He raised his eye back to her face. Those beautiful, bottomless blue eyes focused on his face. She looked at him questioningly.  
  
"Xander, I have a breakfast casserole in the oven. I made it last night. It should be done in about fifteen minutes."  
  
Of course, that was why she was puzzled. He had watched her put it together. Xander quickly pulled away from her hand and took a step back. "Oh, good, good. Nothing I like better than breakfast casserole. I'm sure it will be wonderful." He gave her another of his big, goofy grins.  
  
"Xander?" Dawn did not understand what was going on with him. He was acting all nervous and silly.  
  
Xander was rescued from her inquisitive look by the phone ringing. He immediately took another step back, said, "I'll get that," before he spun and bolted from the room.  
  
Dawn just watched him go, wondering why he hadn't picked up the extension in the kitchen.  
  
Dawn went back to preparing the table, setting out plates and flatware while she waited. She had just leaned over the oven to check the casserole when Xander reentered the kitchen wearing work clothes.  
  
"Dawnie, there's a little problem down at the job site. I need to go and help straighten things out."  
  
"What about breakfast?"  
  
"No time for that now. I'll grab something on the way. I'm not sure what time I'll be back."  
  
"But we were going to talk today. You know, about the other stuff."  
  
"Yes, of course, we'll do that. Wouldn't want to let the Dawnster down. But I really need to get to the job site. If I'm not back by the time you need to be in bed, we'll do it...we'll talk another time. Remember you have school in the morning. Sleep tight." Xander stepped out of the kitchen, grabbed his hard hat in the back hall and disappeared out the back door.  
  
Dawn watched him go, her puzzled glance taking in his whirlwind motions. *What the hell is wrong with him?*  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Thanks for the help, Xander. We could have fixed it without you, but it would have been way harder. Sometimes having somebody around with a title behind the name comes in handy." Tito said as he packed up the last of the equipment.  
  
"Glad to have a reason to get out of the house." Xander replied sincerely.  
  
"Are you still hanging around that same bunch of girls you hung around in Sunnydale?" Tito had never understood Xander's relationship with that bunch. Not that any man in his right mind would turn up his nose at those hotties.  
  
"Well, the bunch is down to one at the moment." Xander was trying to focus on making sure the site was secure for the night. He definitely didn't want to think about the "one" waiting at home for him, alone.  
  
"Hey, Tito, how about joining me for a drink?"  
  
"I need to..." Tito started.  
  
"I'm buying." Xander broke in before Tito could shoot him down.  
  
Tito gave Xander a closer look. He had only offered to buy once before. Something was definitely up.  
  
"Sure, Xander. Where would you like to meet?"  
  
They made arrangements and were soon on their way. After they had settled into a booth and their drinks, Tito looked up and asked, "Ok, Xander, what's up?"  
  
"Up? Nothing's up. Why would anything be up?"  
  
Uh-huh. "Well, you don't want to go home for some reason. And you offered to buy for the first time since your girlfriend shot down your last offer as wasting money on people who weren't her. What's the matter? You in the dog house?"  
  
Xander looked up from his glass to Tito. "No, I'm not in the dog house. But I should be."  
  
Now Tito looked confused.  
  
"I've made a mistake, a huge mistake, except I didn't make the mistake, so I can't really do anything about what happened, not that I could do anything about it now even if I had made the mistake, which I didn't, but I wouldn't have done it in the first place. But now I've been thinking about it, but I don't know if I'm thinking about it or about a dream, because I don't know if the dream is a dream or if it's memories."  
  
"Whoa! I think you need to start at the beginning." Tito was more curious than ever now.  
  
Xander explained as much as he could to Tito without giving away too much of the how. He just let Tito assume that he been drunk.  
  
"And then I had this dream last night with Dawn in a starring role and I don't know if the stuff in the dream was just dreams, partial memories or all memory. If even a fraction of it is what Dawn & I did Friday night, then she got quite an education."  
  
"Education? You were her first?"  
  
"Yeah. And I know she's not a little girl anymore, but she's not a woman either. So, here I have this conflict. My body is saying, 'Pretty girl, we've had sex and I want more' and my mind is saying, 'This is Dawnie, your best friend's little sister. You used to baby-sit her.' And this is on top of the arrest and pregnancy worries. So, yeah, you're right, I don't want to go home. Until my mind can whip my body back into shape, I need to avoid temptation."  
  
"Well, Xander, I don't know what to tell you, but I don't think ditching her was the way to go. What I do know is, no matter what reason you have for avoiding her, you're better off going home and facing the music. If you stay gone long enough for her to worry, you had better start praying to get in a serious accident on the way home. 'Cause you'll get more sympathy if she has to come to the hospital, than if you show up in one piece after she's worried for hours."  
  
Xander gave Tito a rueful smile. "Thanks, Tito. I'll keep that in mind."  
  
Tito shrugged as he pushed back from the table. "I gotta go, man. The little lady may appreciate the paycheck the overtime brings, but she doesn't like me gone anymore than necessary. Thanks for the drink."  
  
"Sure. See you tomorrow." Xander sat back and slowly finished his drink.  
  
Tito might have given him valid advice but he still wasn't ready to face Dawn yet. He needed a little more time between him, the dream, and its implications. There was always paperwork to catch up on. He'd just head back to the job site for now.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
*He's back.* Dawn quietly closed the door as she heard Xander's footsteps in the hall. She didn't know what kind of problem it had been, but how many would keep him 'til 12:30 in the morning? She decided to try and catch him before he left tomorrow. They really needed to get this, whatever "this" was, sorted out.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Early the next morning, Dawn entered the kitchen to find Xander's breakfast dishes abandoned on the table. Dawn frowned as she heard Xander's car start and pull out of the garage. He was just leaving. He must have ducked out when he heard her get up. Dawn's frown deepened as she noticed the note held by a magnet to the refrigerator. As she read it, her annoyance grew.  
  
*So this is how it's going to be.*  
  
Dawn snatched Xander's note from the front of the refrigerator, wadding it in her hands as she walked to the trashcan.  
  
*Avoid me in the morning and bring home work in the evening, while trying to divert my attention with promises of anchovy goodness. He doesn't even like anchovies.* 


	8. Chapter 8 Discoveries

Chapter 8: Discoveries  
  
July 26, 2003  
  
"What's up, Dawnmeister?" Xander asked from the doorway of the office.  
  
"Nothing!" Dawn said as she quickly spun in the office chair.  
  
Up went Xander's eyebrows. "Nothing might be a little more believable if you didn't have something face." Xander entered the room, headed for the computer where Dawn had been engrossed.  
  
Dawn noted that he stopped several feet away from her. *Still with the avoiding of me.* Almost a week had passed and he still wouldn't come within reach of her, not that she was planning to do any reaching. *Fine, I don't care.* She turned back to the computer, brought up a new page and began looking through the favorite's list. She quickly found a site she knew Xander would find boring and brought it up, careful to keep the other site she had been looking at minimized.  
  
"Dawnie, please look at me."  
  
Dawn slowly spun back around in the chair. Xander had moved closer but was still standing more than an arm's length away. She looked at his face.  
  
"Remember what we talked about? About honesty and sharing our feelings? Well, I feel like you're hiding something from me and I'm just wondering what you won't share with me."  
  
Dawn turned away and Xander could see the pink rising in her face.  
  
"If it's girl stuff, something you don't feel comfortable talking to me about, we can call Buffy or Willow. Or maybe you could talk to the mother of one of your friends."  
  
"Buffy would be the last person I talk to about this." Dawn exclaimed.  
  
"So, there is something to talk about?" inquired Xander.  
  
"It's just some research I'm doing."  
  
"Oh. Do you need to talk to Giles then?"  
  
Dawn looked at Xander and rolled her eyes before turning back to the computer. "It's not that kind of research. I do research things besides demons, vampires and other assorted oogly-booglies."  
  
"A school project then."  
  
Dawn's shoulders dropped and Xander heard her sigh. He saw her hands go back to the keyboard and start typing. "Xander, did you need something, I'm really busy."  
  
"Dawn, what's wrong?"  
  
"Well, that's new."  
  
Xander looked puzzled. Dawn continued, "I was beginning to think you had forgotten my name. You haven't used it in so long."  
  
"I use your name all the time. Why would you think I had forgotten it?"  
  
Dawn spun the chair back around. Xander was startled by the piercing blue of her eyes. She was angry.  
  
"You don't say my name. You call me Dawnie or Dawnster or the Dawnmeister. You have all week," her head dropped and she continued, barely above a whisper, "since last Sunday."  
  
Xander hesitated, hoping this wasn't going where he thought it was going. "What about last Sunday?"  
  
"You tell me." Dawn's head had popped back up again as her voice rose. "You're the one who has been avoiding me and refusing to say my name. You tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Dawn, I just..." his voice trailed off as he avoided her eyes.  
  
"And now who's not sharing? Don't ask me to do what you won't. If you're mad at me, just say it. I can take it. I was even expecting it, but when you acted all calm and cool about stuff, I thought everything was okay. But now you've been avoiding me all week, you won't touch me and you wouldn't say my name."  
  
"Uh., Dawn, I really don't think we need to be doing anymore touching. That's what got us into this..."  
  
"God, Xander, I'm not asking you to jump my bones. I'm asking you to be the way you were before, with the normal touching. Like when you'd try to steal my bacon and I'd smack your hand or we'd fight for the remote control or snuggle together on the couch to watch a movie. Why can't we do that anymore?"  
  
"Because that's not who we are anymore. Because you're not just Buffy's little sister and I'm not just the older brother figure. When I look at you, I'm a guy and you're a girl. A girl I have had sex with."  
  
"But you don't remember anything. If I had left before you woke up, you wouldn't have even known about..."  
  
"I would have known, Dawn." At her puzzled expression, he elaborated, "The sheets."  
  
"The sheets?" It didn't take her long. "Oh, the sheets."  
  
"Plus there are other things that are new since that night."  
  
"Other things?"  
  
"Since you want to do the honesty thing, we'll give it a shot." *And hope I don't come out sounding like some kind of dirty old man.* "I've been having dreams Dawn, very unbrotherly dreams, about you and I'm avoiding you because I'm uncomfortable around you. I just want to avoid any reminders or temptation."  
  
"Well, it's good to know that I'm at least tempting. I was starting to think that I had the plague or that you just hated me."  
  
"I don't hate you, Dawn, I love you. I always have and always will. But something like this definitely changes a relationship. I don't know which me to be around you anymore. I should be angry. But you honestly thought you were saving my life, so how can I be angry that you care for me that much. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I do want us to stay friends."  
  
"I want that too, Xander. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable around me now. How can I fix it?"  
  
"For now we'll just take it a little at a time. See what happens next. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." Dawn smiled at Xander, glad they were clearing things up. "Now, since you've shared, I'll show you what I was working on when you came in." Dawn turned back to the computer while Xander grabbed a chair and pulled it up to her right. He still wasn't touching her but it was the closest he had been all week.  
  
Dawn pulled up her minimized page and turned to look at Xander. She wanted to see his reaction.  
  
"What is that blob?" Xander raised his had to point at the screen.  
  
"It's what a baby looks like seven days after conception."  
  
Xander turned a startled eye to her. "Baby! You already know you're pregnant?"  
  
"No. I don't know if I'm pregnant. I just wanted to see what my baby would look like if I were."  
  
"But you're sure you're not pregnant?"  
  
"No, Xander, I don't know that I am pregnant, but I don't know that I'm not either. My period isn't due for another week." At Xander's cringe, Dawn reached out to smack him on the arm. She was relieved when he didn't pull away. "You're an adult, Xander. There is no need to act like someone in junior high."  
  
She turned back to the computer, shaking her head. "I did some research last night about pregnancy tests, signs and symptoms. But I think there are more exceptions than rules. I mean, it says that the symptoms of pregnancy are late period, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, tenderness in the breasts and mood swings. Some women have even been known to faint. Then there is the flip side. Women who experience only some or none of the regular symptoms. They even spot their first month, sometimes that happens when the egg implants, and don't even realize their regular period isn't happening." She noticed she was getting the 'can't we talk about something else' look from Xander and decided to move to another topic. "But I should really be talking about weeks. Everyone says nine months, but pregnancy is actually measured in weeks. They start counting from the first day of your last period. Forty weeks is a full term pregnancy. Since that was three weeks ago, this would technically be the third week of my pregnancy, even though we only had sex a week ago. Anyway," she went on, "most of the pregnancy tests want you to wait at least a week after your period should have started to do the test."  
  
"So that would be..."  
  
"Saturday, August 9th."  
  
"So if something doesn't happen before then to say otherwise, you'll be peeing on a stick two weeks from today."  
  
"Xander, that's gross." Dawn reached out to smack his arm again.  
  
Xander cradled his arm, faking pain, before exclaiming, "I'm gross? You're the one who brought up the whole bodily function subject."  
  
"Well, I hate to tell you this but if I am pregnant, it will get a whole lot worse before it gets better. Mrs. Parker was having a talk with Jenny, Amber's little sister, about what to expect, and she thought it would be good for Amber and I to hear it too. It was very enlightening and totally ick. She also told her about this," Dawn gestured back to the computer screen, "really cool web site that you can go to. You put in your due date and it will tell you how your baby looks today, so I thought I'd check it out. Isn't it weird that that could be in me right now. And look, here at the end of week seven, the baby from the top of its head to its butt is only one-third of an inch tall. All curled up, it's the size of a pea."  
  
Dawn reached over to the mouse and started clicking around the page. She already seemed very familiar with the site.  
  
"This is what the baby will look like at six weeks. Its heart beats during the sixth week. By the time it gets to nine weeks it will even have toenails. Isn't that fascinating?  
  
"You're really excited about this."  
  
"Yes, I am." Dawn said with a serene smile.  
  
Xander was amazed at Dawn's appearance. She looked so calm and confident when he was very close to his last straw. "Why?"  
  
"When I got this idea I thought about just making it look like we had spent the night together and convince you I might be pregnant. I also thought about just sleeping with you and using a condom, so that while there would be a remote chance I was pregnant, it wouldn't be likely. I knew that if I did this as I planned, I needed to consider all the possible consequences, and yes, I know that I really didn't consider them all, but the stuff I considered were STDs, pregnancy, the fact that you might hate me, and what Buffy would do if she found out. Pregnancy and Buffy having a cow were the greatest risks, so I considered them carefully. Buffy has a cow about everything I do, so no big. Pregnancy would mean a baby. A big responsibility, yes, but I had the fate of the world resting on my shoulders at one time, so I thought I could probably handle it. The more I thought about it, the more I considered everything that comes with a baby, the more I wanted it to happen."  
  
"Dawn, I..." Xander tried unsuccessfully to break in.  
  
"Xander, I know that you really hope I'm not pregnant. It would be much simpler for both of us if I'm not, but...but I really want this."  
  
Xander sighed heavily. "Dawn, I just want what's best for you."  
  
"Do you think its best for me to be alone? To have no family?" Her voice rose sharply. Xander could hear the pain in every word.  
  
"You have a family, Dawn." He tried to reassure her.  
  
"My mother is dead and my father is worse than dead because he chooses not to be around. That leaves my sister, the slayer, who has been told repeatedly that she probably won't live to see twenty-five which means I have...what?..three years left with her. When she dies, I'll be alone."  
  
"You'll still have me and the rest of the Scoobies."  
  
"I don't even have you now." As he started to interrupt, Dawn ploughed on, "I just thought, 'Leave it to fate' and if it happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it doesn't. But if I am pregnant, I plan to be the best mother my child could have, like my mother was."  
  
"But Dawn, you have other options."  
  
"Yes, I know. You mentioned abortion and adoption. I will only do either of those if you absolutely insist. Adoption to me means there will be a child out there wondering why his or her parents didn't want them. Abortion would be destroying a part of you and I don't want to do that. I kinda like the idea of having someone who won't leave me, not for a long time anyway. I would like to be a family, me and my baby, and Buffy, if she's around. I mean, until the Watcher's Council and the Ohio hellmouth are all sorted out, who knows where she'll end up. Dad has this house here but spends most of his time in Europe. As long as he's maintaining the house anyway, I don't see why it should be a problem for me to stay here."  
  
"What about school and money? How are you planning to handle both of those?"  
  
"Well, I'm actually a very good student. Just because I haven't been a Brainiac in the last two or three years doesn't mean I can't learn the material. I don't think I will have any problem getting a general education degree. I could do college or maybe go ahead and get a job. I thought about talking to Giles. With the reorganization of the Watcher's Council, my two years of experience in research might come in handy. And if can't get a job or can't handle one along with school, my father probably owes enough in back child support to keep me comfortable for years."  
  
"Since you're all self-sufficienty, how exactly were you planning to convince me that you needed me."  
  
"Oh, please. I can do damsel in distress with the best of them. With the fighty stuff Buffy was teaching me, I could probably take half the guys at Sunnydale High. But do you think I let them see that. That would be the quickest way in the world to not get a date for prom."  
  
Xander just rolled his eye at that bit of teenage logic. "Well, since you have it all laid out, where exactly do I fit into this plan?"  
  
"Wherever you want to fit. If you want to be active in the baby's life, be a daddy, that would be great. If not, the baby and I will be fine without you. If you decide you do hate me and never want to see me again, I would rather know that you are alive somewhere in the world because of us, than to have done nothing and know that I could have prevented your death. I want to be absolutely clear though. It was never my intention to trap you into something you don't want. I don't expect anything from you."  
  
"Dawn, it's just not going to be that easy. People older than you have not been able to handle the pressures of raising a child."  
  
"I'm not your mother and you are not your father." Dawn regretted her outburst immediately.  
  
"My parents are not the issue." Xander was gritting his teeth as he spoke.  
  
"Aren't they?" Dawn asked softly.  
  
There was a moment of silence as both tried to regroup. Just as Xander took a deep breath, preparing to speak, Dawn beat him to the punch. "Xander, why did you leave Anya at the wedding?" 


	9. Chapter 9 Demons

Chapter 9: Demons  
  
Dawn looked at Xander. Somehow, she knew this was the key. If she knew why he had left the woman he loved, when he was so set on marrying her just a short time before, she felt she would know everything there was to know about him.  
  
She watched Xander. He was still sitting in the chair to her right, but now his elbows were resting on his spread legs, his fingers laced together and his eye staring at the floor. He seemed lost in thought. She thought he had forgotten her presence until he began to speak.  
  
"You know about the demon that was there that day. The one who wanted revenge against Anya. Well, he did his research well. He knew exactly what it would take to scare me away. And that's what I was, Dawn. I was scared."  
  
Xander pushed back the chair, stood and began pacing the room. Dawn turned to follow him with her eyes as he walked back and forth. "He told me he was showing me my future. Maybe it was my future, maybe just something he made up. But the problem was I could see it happening. I could see myself becoming that man. He was critical, angry, and bitter. He drank to drown his sorrows. He regretted his inability to save Buffy. His constant rejection caused his wife to turn to someone else. And how was I different than the 'future guy' he showed me. I wasn't. I criticized Anya all the time. I told myself it was to help her fit in better, but after a while, I should have just accepted it as part of her and moved on. If something came up that I couldn't deal with, the first place I'd go would be the closest bar. I know if it ever came down to a fight for Buffy's life, if she couldn't defeat it, I wouldn't be able to either. But I would regret forever that I was not enough help to save her."  
  
Xander halted and turned to face Dawn. "But future guy, he killed Anya. That was the one thing I saw that I couldn't let happen. I was scared that I would one day kill the woman I loved. So I left. During that week I was away I gave it a lot of thought. In a lot of ways my relationship with Anya was a lot like my parents. A relationship based on sex, combined with criticism and alcohol. In their case, they got 'caught' and back in the early eighties there were people who still did the shotgun wedding thing. So they married, had a child they didn't want and proceeded to make each other's lives miserable. But I also realized that in a lot of ways Anya and I were different. Our relationship wasn't only based on sex, even though it started that way. We had other things in common, things we liked to do together, our shared 'creature' knowledge, and the fact that I wasn't an alcoholic. That's why when I came back, I thought we might could work something out. I figured eventually, with time and counseling, we could get back to that stage in our relationship."  
  
"But it never came?" Dawn asked quietly.  
  
"No, it never did. I spent her birthday this year looking back and regretting our lost time. Over a year that we could have been together, if we had only known how it would end."  
  
"Her birthday?"  
  
"Well, her made up birthday. It's the birthday she gave the Watcher's Counsel when they were interviewing her. After that she insisted that we celebrate it then, since she didn't know when her real birthday was, because birth was a present occasion. Anya did like to get presents."  
  
"When was her birthday?"  
  
"July 4th."  
  
"The day I saw you with the crossbow, with the drinking and the chest- pointing-at."  
  
"Yeah, I guess it was."  
  
"Well, now I know why you were drinking. But why did you do the crossbow thing? Were you that upset?"  
  
"Actually, that was because of something Buffy had said when she called earlier that day."  
  
"Xander, I know Buffy can be annoying, but I don't think it would be suicide worthy."  
  
Xander just shook his head and grinned at her teasing, knowing she was trying to cheer him up. "No, Dawn, that's not it. Buffy thought you might be home because there was no school that day. When I told her you had gone on a picnic, she started telling me about a problem they've been having in Ohio. The trigger and safety mechanisms on the crossbows need adjusting or something."  
  
"So you were working on crossbow modifications?"  
  
"Well, trying anyway. Not exactly the brightest idea to do it when you're a little out of it."  
  
"Oh." Dawn gave Xander a sheepish look. "I guess that was quite a jump on that conclusion."  
  
"Yeah." Xander gave another grin before doing his own share of teasing. "If it were an Olympic event, you'd be sporting the gold." Dawn rolled her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"Come on, kid." Xander said as he started toward the door.  
  
Dawn halted in her tracks. "I'm not a kid."  
  
"How about this?" Xander said as he watched Dawn from several feet away. "I'll treat you like an adult as long as you act like one. Deal?"  
  
Dawn hesitated only a second. "Deal."  
  
"Ok. Come on, Dawn," Xander gave slight emphasis to her name before he extended his hand to her, continuing, "let's go see if we can't round up something to eat and a movie we haven't seen yet."  
  
He almost had to catch his breath at the smile that blossomed on her face. Yeah, this might be difficult for him, but he never wanted this beautiful girl/woman to feel unwanted or unloved for even a minute. He would just have to deal with his demons alone. 


	10. Chapter 10 Drama

Chapter 10: Drama  
  
They did manage to find a movie and spent a couple of hours watching Captain Jack stagger from one bad situation to another.  
  
Afterward they walked along the Redondo pier, eating fish and chips, and just enjoying the return of their companionship.  
  
They were still hanging out at the pier, long after they had finished their impromptu dinner. Their discussion had returned to the movie.  
  
"Can you believe it? A pirate movie and not one of them was wearing an eye patch. This must surely signal an oncoming apocalypse or something."  
  
"Well, I think you make a much better looking pirate than those guys. But I must say that Johnny and Orlando manage to make even dirt look good."  
  
"Excuse me?" Xander protested. "I'll have you know that dirt looks very good on me and I have the eye patch. I would be a much better pirate."  
  
Xander put on his most terrifying face, which wasn't, and loomed over Dawn as he "Argh"ed.  
  
Dawn just laughed at him. She looked carefree. He hadn't realized how much he had withdrawn from her, and she from him, until she had started acting the way she normally did.  
  
Xander decided to repay her for her laughter. His fingers reached over and sneaked a bite of the cotton candy Dawn had chosen for dessert. Dawn was quick to defend her cotton candy from Xander's grabbing fingers.  
  
Xander had snatched the last bit of the candy and was trying to hold it out of Dawn's reach. Dawn struggled for a moment, then stopped.  
  
She turned her gaze on Xander.  
  
"No, not the puppy eyes."  
  
Dawn just continued to look at him.  
  
"Oh, alright." He never could resist those eyes. He held the fluffy candy to her mouth.  
  
A hint of mischief glinted briefly in Dawn's eyes. *Why not? He did it to me.* Dawn's mouth closed around the candy and Xander's thumb where the pink sugar was melting.  
  
Dawn watched Xander as she cleaned his thumb with her tongue.  
  
Xander caught his breath while his eye focused on her mouth closed around his thumb. He finally pulled his hand away as he stepped back, putting a few inches between he and Dawn. They stood unmoving, gazing at each other. It was almost a battle of wills to see who would back down first.  
  
Xander won because suddenly Dawn was no longer standing in front of him.  
  
She was struggling with a guy who looked like he was trying to push her under the bottom rail on the pier. Xander grabbed him and pulled him away from Dawn, but it was an instant too late. Dawn disappeared over the edge.  
  
*NO!* Xander was frozen for a moment that lasted an eternity.  
  
He then dropped to his stomach and put his head under the pier railing trying to see where Dawn had fallen to. He didn't have to look far.  
  
Dawn had caught the edge of the pier with her hands and was clinging like a limpet. He reached for her arm, praying he would have the strength to pull her up before she fell further.  
  
He felt someone beside him, lying on the pier. Fearing it was her attacker back to make sure he couldn't save her, Xander pulled an arm in and jammed outward with his elbow.  
  
"Whoa, mister. Just trying to help here."  
  
Xander looked over and noticed this was a different guy. He just nodded, not wanting to waste his breath on useless talk while his Dawn was still in danger. The guy returned the nod and reached over the side at the same time Xander did. Xander grabbed Dawn's left arm as their rescuer grabbed her right. They soon had Dawn up, under the rail, and securely in Xander's arms. Dawn sat shuddering in Xander's embrace.  
  
"Hey, man. I'm sorry I didn't get over here quicker." Apologized their rescuer.  
  
"I don't see how you could have gotten there any faster," said Xander.  
  
"Well, uh, we heard those guys talking about pushing someone over the edge. I just thought they were talking though. Then one of the guys just goes and actually pushes your girlfriend. I didn't hear all of it but I think they dared him."  
  
"Thank you. I could never repay you for your help." Xander's heartfelt statement seemed to embarrass the guy.  
  
"Not necessary." He said, brushing his hand outward in a rejecting motion. "Just doing my good deed for the day."  
  
"Still," said Xander, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost Dawn."  
  
"Yes," added Dawn, "I do appreciate your help."  
  
Dawn's rescuer perched on his toes as he squatted down to her eye level as she sat on the pier. His voice was gentle as he asked, "Are you okay?"  
  
Dawn smiled. "Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you."  
  
"Well," he said as he stood, "I need to get back to my friends. Be careful. There are all sorts of weird things in the world."  
  
Xander and Dawn both nodded and watched as he walked away.  
  
Xander's arms tightened around Dawn as his gaze turned back to her face. "I don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
"I vote we never find out," agreed Dawn.  
  
Xander gently brushed the hair away from her face and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. He finally rose and helped Dawn to her feet checking to make sure everything was working like it should. Her hands were scraped from holding to the rough edge of the pier and a few nails were broken, but she was otherwise undamaged.  
  
As they started walking back to the car, Dawn gave Xander an accusing look.  
  
"You do know this is your fault, don't you."  
  
Xander gave Dawn a startled look. "How's that?"  
  
"You just had to say last week that nothing otherworldly or weird had happened since Buffy's been gone. Here it is one week later and welcome the weirdness. Not only does someone try to kill me, one of my rescuer's has a key tattoo on his arm."  
  
"You noticed that too?"  
  
"Yes," said Dawn. "And if there's one thing that really weirds me, it is the unexplained mention or presence of keys."  
  
"Yeah. I know what you mean," said Xander as he sighed. "Come on let's get you home and cleaned up." 


	11. Chapter 11 Distraction

Chapter 11: Distraction  
  
July 18, 2003  
  
"Xander, you need to undress." Dawn hoped he would, 'cause she was pretty sure she was too nervous to manage his clothes and her own. Xander hesitated for a moment then reached for the buttons on his shirt as he toed off his shoes.  
  
Dawn sighed with relief and went to turn down the bed. One obstacle down. About five hundred to go.  
  
Dawn turned back to Xander and her mouth fell open. He had stripped his clothes off. Completely off. He was wearing nothing but his eye patch. Dawn could feel the flush creeping up her neck and across her face. She had seen pictures of nude men before, but it was not the same, being confronted with all of that guy-ness in person.  
  
Dawn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She then opened her eyes and walked purposefully across the room. She took Xander's hand, very careful to touch only his hand, and led him over to the bed. He was looking kinda dazed and being very compliant. She was really hoping his instinct kicked in soon, because she wasn't sure how much she could do before becoming totally lost. Dawn raised her free hand and lightly ran it across the center of Xander's chest, acquainting herself with the springy hair sprinkled there. Her eyes traveled from his chest to his face. His eye was open and he was looking but he didn't really register her. *Well, duh,* she thought, *or we wouldn't be here.*  
  
The corners of Xander's mouth tilted up into a slightly pleased look as he reached down to capture her hand on his chest. He raised it to his mouth and lightly kissed each fingertip before he moved his mouth to her palm. Dawn could feel his tongue as it ventured forth to taste her skin. It then traveled upward and Dawn gasped as his mouth enveloped her middle finger. Xander's lips and tongue tugging at Dawn's finger caused an answering tug low in her abdomen.  
  
Xander released Dawn's finger, placed another kiss in her palm, then moved both of her hands to his shoulders. He brought his hands up between them to unbutton her shirt. He traced down the deepening V to expose her skin, making a little detour into her belly button along the way. Shirt unfastened, he skimmed his hands back up her sides, denoting the inward curve of her waist and the outward swell of her breasts, before he reached her shoulders where he peeled the shirt back off her arms.  
  
As the shirt dropped to the floor, Xander laced his fingers through Dawn's and arched her body to him. He bent and captured her lips.  
  
*Finally!* Thought Dawn, then immediately lost herself in the feel of his mouth exploring her own. He began with small, nibbling kisses to her lips before his tongue ventured forth to lick her lips, persuading them to part. Then Dawn felt his tongue against her own. She liked that. Soon Xander's tongue was retreating into his mouth and then advancing again into hers. Dawn grew frustrated as he retreated yet again. *Why did he keep pulling back?* She finally realized. He was trying to get her to follow. Dawn tentatively moved her tongue out of her own mouth and into Xander's. She was immediately enchanted as he began sucking on her tongue. She finally had to break away from Xander to try to catch her breath. *Damn!* He leaned in for more. Dawn eagerly returned to him.  
  
Xander finally pulled away from her, sucking her lower lip as he pulled back. Dawn tilted her head back as Xander left her mouth to drift down her neck, placing kisses until he stopped to nuzzle the dip in her collarbone. He moved back up the side of her neck until he reached her earlobe. He sucked it into his mouth, maneuvering the earring with his tongue, while his hands slid down her back and over the rounded globes of her ass. He then pulled her firmly to him, tilting to rub himself against her. Dawn's eyes widened when she realized exactly what was nudging into her.  
  
Dawn did not notice Xander had moved again until he captured her breast and tongued her nipple through the lace of her bra. Dawn could not prevent the small cry or involuntary arch of her body. When Xander pulled away from her, Dawn thought he must have come to his senses. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the recriminations she was sure would follow. Dawn gasped and her eyes popped back open. She lowered them to see Xander's mouth on her bare breast. He had managed to remove her bra without her even realizing.  
  
*WOW! He was good at this.* Her hands instinctively cradled his head as he ministered to first one breast, then the other.  
  
Dawn was breathless and not sure how much longer her legs would hold her. Xander must have realized the effect he was having because suddenly the room tilted and spun. Xander had literally swept her off her feet and placed her on the turned-down bed.  
  
Xander knelt beside the bed and reached for the button on her pants. Dawn felt his fingers brush her stomach and her hips arched involuntarily. Xander responded by slipping his hand beneath the lacy panties and cupping his hand against her, allowing his middle finger to dip ever so slightly into the seam of her body. Dawn gasped and instinctively parted her legs as Xander's hand moved lower. Xander's mouth returned to her breast as his hand played between her legs. Dawn was soon overwhelmed by the pleasure, and cried out as her body bowed, then released under Xander's attention.  
  
After she recovered a little, she opened her eyes to see Xander's smug expression. He had genuinely enjoyed her pleasure.  
  
*Of course he enjoys pleasing a woman. How do you think he kept Anya happy for three years? No! Don't think about Anya. Concentrate on the task at hand. Oh, crap, now I'm thinking like Giles.*  
  
She wasn't thinking about Anya or Giles for long. Xander had moved to the foot of the bed and reached up to grasp the waistband of her pants and panties to ease them down over her hips. She could almost feel Xander's gaze as his eye took in the new territory exposed to him.  
  
Dawn froze. For the first time, ever, she was lying totally nude before a man's eyes. *Am I okay? What if I don't compare well? Why isn't he moving?*  
  
Xander's eye looked over every inch of the body exposed to him before he breathed the word, "Beautiful."  
  
He thought she was beautiful. Of course, he was also under the influence of a combination of drugs and alcohol, so maybe she shouldn't take him too seriously.  
  
Dawn brought her attention back to Xander as he climbed onto the bed beside her and proceeded to explore. She could feel the tension as it coiled and built inside her as Xander's hands and mouth opened a whole new world to her.  
  
Xander was on top of her now. His lower body parted her legs and his upper body was braced on his arms to take his weight. Dawn tensed slightly as she felt Xander's body probe hers. He dipped a bit further into her each time until he came to her barrier and stopped. Xander's forehead pleated into a frown and Dawn felt panic rise. He knew something was different. Dawn reached for Xander's hips and pulled him further. The pressure increased, then Dawn stifled a whimper as Xander broke through and slid completely into her. Her next thought was to distract Xander. She ignored the pain as she moved her hands to the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. She used all the skills Xander had taught her only a few minutes ago to keep his attention.  
  
It worked. Xander withdrew, then surged into Dawn again. She gasped. The pain had dissipated and she was left with an incredibly full feeling. With each thrust, Xander set alight every nerve ending inside her body as she instinctively caught the rhythm he set. The tension inside her started to build again. Xander finally reached between them and sent Dawn plummeting over the edge. He drew out her pleasure as long as he could before joining her release.  
  
Xander caught his weight on his arms and took Dawn with him as he rolled to the side. He held her snugly to him; their bodies still joined as he nuzzled into her neck. As the tremors subsided, Dawn's breath slowly returned to normal. She could feel Xander's heartbeat slowing as well.  
  
Xander rolled to his back and as he did, he slipped out of her. Although draped over the side of Xander's body, Dawn felt an incredible sense of loss. She had felt so right with him inside her. Complete.  
  
Dawn lay quietly, savoring the memories of her new experience. She could feel Xander's breath become steady and calm until she thought he was asleep. She raised her head from his shoulder and peeked at his face. He did appear to be asleep.  
  
After lying still a while longer, Dawn propped herself up on an elbow. She was curious. Xander had done a pretty good job of exploring her earlier, but she had been too unsure at first, and later too distracted, to really do any exploring of her own.  
  
The eye patch was still in place. *I wonder if he usually wears it all night or takes it off?*  
  
There was the smattering of hair across his chest that she had tested with her fingers earlier. His chest and arms were muscled from the construction job but not too much. His waist was trimmer now than it had been right after the wedding. Over the past year and a half, hard work and regular training had honed it. Of course, having the junk-food-inhaling SITs around hadn't hurt either.  
  
Her eyes moved down further. She hadn't really gotten a good look at his lower body earlier. Dark hair surrounded his penis. It looked different than she expected; though she wasn't really sure what she did expect. Her fingers ventured forth and lightly brushed the nest of hair then moved further to lightly caress the smooth skin it surrounded. *So soft*, as she ran her hand down the length and back. It had been quite hard earlier, like a stake inside of her. She gave an inward chuckle at the analogy before curiosity took hold. She wondered what it would take to get him like that again. She would kinda like to see it.  
  
Dawn continued the back and forth motion, with an occasional trip up to brush her hand over the smooth tip. Apparently, that was all it took. He began to lengthen and harden in her hand. She couldn't resist. She sat up for a better look. It was amazing how different it looked in just a few minutes.  
  
Dawn was startled when Xander grasped her waist and lifted her so that she was straddling his thighs. She raised her eyes to his face. His eye was open but he obviously still wasn't seeing her. Dawn continued to look at him, grasping his biceps where her hands had grabbed for balance when he moved her.  
  
"Go on," he urged, his hands still clasping her waist.  
  
Dawn still hesitated as she pulled back. What exactly was he expecting? More than she, in her inexperience, could manage? She decided to follow her instincts and see where that got her. Her hands moved back to Xander. She tried different things, checked to see what got his attention, what made him gasp. She continued until Xander's hands at her waist started urging her forward. *Again?*  
  
Xander lifted and entered her. Dawn moaned as she once again felt that exquisitely full feeling, this time without the pain. *This is even better.* She was soon lost in sensation.  
  
Afterward, Dawn lay clasped in Xander's arms. Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep...*I'll never complain how difficult it is to find jeans again. The long legs are definitely good for something.* 


	12. Chapter 12 Domesticity

Chapter 12: Domesticity  
  
Author's Note: I think I need to explain Chapter 11, which is Dawn and Xander's first night together. I did have a little bit of reasoning for putting Chapter 11 there instead of earlier. I wanted to show more of a building relationship between the two before I plunged them into what amounted to a one night stand. I was also hoping people would be interested enough in the story by then that the idea wouldn't squick them too much. And sometimes I just think I'm being innovative and creative when I'm just being weird. Oh, well.  
  
July 29, 2003  
  
"XANDER!!"  
  
Xander looked up, startled and halted in his tracks, literally.  
  
"What is that gunk all over your boots?"  
  
"Dirt?" He said it more as a question than an answer.  
  
"It doesn't look like any dirt I've ever seen."  
  
"Yeah, I know. We're finding out the hard way how difficult it is to work in it. This stuff clings tighter than a baby Bezoar."  
  
"Well, you're getting it all over the floor." Dawn admonished.  
  
"I was headed to the bathroom to try and get it off."  
  
"Why didn't you use the sink in the laundry room?"  
  
"Your...a..." Xander made a small motion with his hand as he searched for a word, "...frilly things are in there."  
  
"Oh. I'll...I'll try not to leave them in your way again." A subdued Dawn turned toward the laundry room.  
  
"Dawn." Xander followed and caught up to her just as she reached the laundry room door. He stepped in front of her, and with a hand under her chin, brought her eyes up to meet his. "Share, remember?"  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
"Now tell me what I said to upset you."  
  
"It's just...my frillies have never been a problem before."  
  
"That's because before I wasn't imagining how you looked in them."  
  
"Oh," said Dawn as she blushed and ducked her head, before looking back at Xander.  
  
"See how much faster things get solved when we talk about them." Xander leaned forward to kiss Dawn on the forehead before stepping back. "Now, I'll let you get back to your frillies while I get back to the clinging clay that ate LA," he said, as he lifted his boots to inspect the mess.  
  
"Wait." Dawn turned back to the laundry room and grabbed a laundry tub from a shelf. "This will at least save the rest of the house."  
  
"Thanks," said Xander. "I'll get the rest of it cleaned up after I rescue the boots. I just hope the stuff doesn't eat the mop."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
July 31, 2003  
  
"Hey, Xander. Guess who's on tv again?"  
  
"Couldn't guess."  
  
"It's the psycho psychic, giving her predictions on the next disasters to befall the world."  
  
"Oh, please," exclaimed Xander. "I can't believe anyone falls for her line of crap. Sometimes I think people will believe anything."  
  
"Yeah. They don't believe in demons and vampires, but they believe she felt the," Dawn air quoted, "'sinkhole' forming and broadcast a psychic warning to everyone in Sunnydale."  
  
"What irritates me is the huge following she has now. Like there haven't been a million other disasters she failed to predict." Xander shook his head. "She's probably taking her followers for every dime they own. People will believe almost anything but the truth."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
August 3, 2003  
  
"What are you cooking?" asked Xander, wrinkling his nose in distaste.  
  
"Broccoli."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's good for you."  
  
"Nothing that smells that bad can be good for you."  
  
"It's high in anti-oxidants which makes it very good for pregnant women. I'm also planning to drown it with cheese to boost the calcium."  
  
"So you're still assuming pregnancy until proven otherwise."  
  
"Yeah. I guess it's silly, isn't it?"  
  
"Well, I personally think anything that would make a person choose to eat broccoli falls in the silly column, but..." he continued, "I think it's great that you're willing to eat yucky stuff and give up yummy stuff for your maybe baby. I mean, to me, soda without caffeine. What's the point? There are people who won't even give up dangerous stuff for their children. You're going to be a hell of a mom, Dawn, whenever it happens."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
August 6, 2003  
  
"Orange juice must be good for some baby part." Xander said as he settled in at the kitchen table.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because I don't know another reason someone would be drinking that much orange juice."  
  
"Hey." Dawn protested. "Orange juice has been a good thing for a long time. It has vitamin C and...and everything."  
  
"And...?" asked Xander.  
  
"And what?" Dawn asked as she avoided his eye.  
  
"And how does it benefit momma-to-be?"  
  
"Well, I guess it does have folic acid." Dawn conceded before she quickly changed the subject. 


	13. Chapter 13 Danger

Chapter 13: Danger  
  
August 8, 2003  
  
Dawn and Amber settled into the folding auditorium seats and prepared to be bored. The disadvantage to summer school was that school officials felt the need to lecture you as they educated you. They were about to endure another speech in a series that Dawn and Amber had laughingly dubbed the "Danger Lectures." So far, they had covered the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and unprotected sex. Today they had a detective from the SVU.  
  
Dawn was half-listening when the officer's words caught her attention. She gave him her full attention for the rest of the lecture.  
  
At the end, she got up and hurriedly exited as Amber called, "Dawn? Dawn! Where are you going?" Dawn kept going. She found an unused classroom, broke down and cried.  
  
The sound of footsteps herding through the hall finally brought Dawn back to her surroundings. She had finally calmed down. She glanced at her watch and noticed she had already missed trig class. If she didn't get to the bathroom and fix her face in a hurry, she might miss French too. Not that it would be a tragedy.  
  
Dawn had reached her locker and was switching books in her backpack when Amber ambushed her.  
  
"What happened to you? You missed trig and Mr. Simpson was not happy. He said he was reporting you to the office immediately."  
  
"Mr. Simpson is never happy. He thinks everyone who attends summer school is a juvenile delinquent and belongs in jail."  
  
"Well, yeah," Amber conceded, "but he really seems to have it in for you."  
  
"He wouldn't be the first person. If I can survive the hell-bitch, I can survive him."  
  
"Hell-bitch?" Amber looked puzzled.  
  
"Long story. I have to get to French. I'll see you after school." Dawn turned to walk away, then turned back. "Hey, Amber, is it alright if I come to your house tonight?"  
  
"I'm sure it's fine. See ya."  
  
Dawn was sitting in French, trying to pay attention, when the door opened. One of the hall monitors delivered a note to the teacher. She looked up from it and Dawn inwardly cringed as the teacher looked straight at her. "Dawn, they need to see you in the main office."  
  
*Mr. Simpson didn't waste any time.* Dawn gathered her book and folder and shoved them into her book bag. All eyes were on her as she made her way to the door. She slowly made her way to the office through the deserted halls, fighting the urge to ditch. She was so not looking forward to doing this again.  
  
The one advantage to attending this school was they were not aware of her previous attendance record in Sunnydale. It had kinda been nice, not having every teacher know your track record and expecting you to screw up.  
  
The receptionist motioned Dawn to a chair and she sat down. Waiting was the worst. She could hear an excited voice behind the door to the principal's office. It sounded a lot like Mr. Simpson. He must be really mad if he was missing his smoke break so that he could report the skipped class in person. The door opened and she could hear a calm voice saying, "Mr. Simpson, we believe that each child should succeed or fail on their own merit. Subjecting a child to positive or negative expectations based on the performance or actions of a sibling is not fair."  
  
"Mark my words, Principal Howard, the child is a juvenile delinquent. And I will take great pleasure in saying 'I told you so' when she burns down your gym."  
  
*Oh, crap! He knew Buffy.*  
  
Mr. Simpson exited the principal's office. When he saw Dawn, he stopped long enough to say, "You will be expected to complete all the work assigned today. You will not, of course, be able to make up the quiz you missed." With that, he marched arrogantly from the room. He reminded Dawn of Principal Snyder.  
  
"Dawn."  
  
Dawn turned back to see two women by the door to the principal's office. The older of the two walked forward and held out her hand. "Hello. I'm Principal Howard. You must be Dawn Summers."  
  
Dawn shook her hand. "Unless you've called someone else to the office who's in less trouble. In that case, I'd rather be them."  
  
Principal Howard smiled as she stepped back. "Well, unless you've done a wonderful makeup job, you probably won't convince me that you're Harold Shelton. And if it is a makeup job, you look good enough that drilling a hole in the wall to the girl's locker room wouldn't be necessary."  
  
Dawn couldn't hold back a chuckle. *Wow. She's nice. I wonder how long that will last.*  
  
"Under the circumstances, I think I'll be Dawn. Destruction of school property probably nets more detention than skipping a class."  
  
At that, the principal continued speaking as she turned to the other woman, who stepped forward. "Dawn, I'd like you to meet Pamela White. She is a counselor here at the school and would like to talk to you for a few minutes."  
  
"A counselor! Not again."  
  
"You've seen a counselor before?" asked Ms. White  
  
"At my old school. They had me see the guidance counselor."  
  
"Well, I'm a different kind of counselor. Would you mind talking to me for a few minutes?"  
  
"Okay," agreed Dawn reluctantly.  
  
"If you'll step into my office, I'll be with you in a moment," said Ms. White as she lead the way to another door. She opened it and Dawn stepped into the office. Ms. White smiled and then stepped back out. She almost, but not quite, pulled the door closed and Dawn could hear her saying, "Has the call been made?"  
  
An indistinct murmur answered.  
  
"Good. I think someone needs to be here."  
  
Dawn's suspicions were immediately aroused. *Who did they call? And why were they trying to keep it quiet?* She turned her head to face forward again as Ms. White returned to the room.  
  
"Well, Dawn, how is school going for you?"  
  
"Okay." Dawn carefully avoided Ms. White's eyes.  
  
"I was reviewing your file before you arrived. You seem to be doing well in most of your classes, though you do seem to be struggling a bit in French."  
  
Dawn allowed her eyes to roam the room, hoping she was projecting an air of nonchalance. She didn't want Ms. White to know she was nervous.  
  
"I don't see a lot of use for French in my future," Dawn said casually. "Now Latin would be useful."  
  
"Latin? Interesting opinion. Why did you choose to take French? It is only one of the language options offered in high school."  
  
"Well, I took Spanish in junior high. I wanted to try something different for high school. Since a friend of the family spoke French, I thought she could help."  
  
"She's not able to help?"  
  
"She's not available anymore." Dawn's eyes went back to Ms. White as she spoke, her tone suddenly devoid of all emotion.  
  
"Oh? Did she move away?"  
  
Dawn dropped her head as she spoke quietly. "She died."  
  
"I'm so sorry. Was she a close friend of the family?"  
  
"Pretty close. She was inclined to speak her mind, but you got used to it after a while."  
  
"How did she die?"  
  
Dawn frowned at Ms. White. "You haven't looked under the 'school records' section of my file, have you?"  
  
Ms. White reached over to the computer sitting on top of her desk and tapped a couple of keys before stopping. Dawn could guess the exact moment she realized where Dawn was from. She looked back up at Dawn. "Oh, you poor child."  
  
Dawn dropped her eyes to her clasped hands. "She was one of the ones who didn't make it out alive."  
  
"I'm so sorry. You must feel a tremendous amount of loss. I know you think I can't help you. That I don't know what you've been through and you're right. I don't know what it's like to lose my friends, my home, and my town. But I really think I can help. I'm sure you were, and probably still are, feeling all sorts of emotions. And I'll bet that when you first came to LA you needed a shoulder to cry on. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of that need."  
  
"Maybe." Dawn brought her puzzled gaze back to the counselor. She thought she knew where this conversation was going when they started. Loss = poor school performance. Been there, done that. But Ms. White had not realized she was from Sunnydale, and the 'taking advantage' bit was new. What was that about? 


	14. Chapter 14 Date Rape?

Chapter 14: Date Rape  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Xander approached the school office practically running. He burst through the doors, startling the receptionist.  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
Xander turned as a door marked 'Principal Howard' opened and a woman in a casual suit entered the reception area. Xander immediately decided that she would know what was going on. "Where's Dawn? Is she okay?"  
  
"She's fine for the moment. Would you care to join me in my office?"  
  
"For the moment? What's wrong?"  
  
"Sir, if you will just join me in my office, I think we can get to the bottom of this. Please, sir," she said, as he hesitated.  
  
"Dawn's okay?"  
  
"She's fine."  
  
Xander entered the office and was surprised to see a man sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. The woman stopped in front of the desk and held out her hand to Xander. "I apologize for not introducing myself first, but reassurances seemed to be the first priority. It was not our intention to scare you. We just thought perhaps Dawn might need someone that she knew with her. My name is Melinda Howard. I'm principal here at Hemery High. This..." the man stood as she gestured, "...is Detective Phillips of the Los Angeles Police Department."  
  
Xander cringed at the last introduction. "Dawn hasn't been shoplifting again, has she?"  
  
Detective Phillips raised an eyebrow. "Not that we know of."  
  
"Did I say shoplifting...I meant shopgifting, you know, like gift shopping, you know?"  
  
Principal Howard and Detective Phillips were both just looking at him.  
  
"I was never very good at back-pedaling." Xander said with a shrug.  
  
"Perhaps we can get to the matter at hand," suggested Principal Howard.  
  
"That would be great," said Xander. "By the way, I'm Alexander Harris. Xander. What seems to be the problem?"  
  
"You may know that we have educational lectures in addition to the regular curriculum."  
  
"Oh, yeah. The 'Danger' lectures." Xander nodded until he noticed the look on the principal's face. Not happy.  
  
"Yes, I believe that is the name being used among many of the students now." The principal's tone was reproving as she spoke.  
  
"I'm sorry, Principal, but to be quite honest they start educating kids in grade school now about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, smoking, what to do if they are being abused, and who to call if they have a problem with anything. By the time they're in high school, they've heard it so many times, they just think you're treating them like little kids."  
  
"We don't think it hurts to remind them. Plus, we've implemented a new element to the lectures here. We have a licensed clinical therapist on staff here, one with a specialty in dealing with things of this nature in the adolescent population. While the lectures are given, she scans the audience looking for reactions from the students. Are they bored, receptive, defensive? Do they seem to be upset or cocky? She has been quite successful in helping the students she has spotted in this manner."  
  
"And what does this have to do with Dawn?"  
  
"During today's lecture, Dawn's reaction was enough for both Ms. White, our counselor, and Detective Phillips, to notice. She also got up and left rather abruptly at the end of the lecture, ignoring a friend who was calling her name, and then she missed her next class."  
  
"What was today's lecture about?" inquired Xander.  
  
"Date rape."  
  
"Date rape?" *Oh, no.*  
  
"Yes," Detective Phillips picked up where Principal Howard left off, "Dawn was exhibiting the usual, 'I'm so bored, why do I have to be here' behavior. Mid-way through she sat up, started paying attention, close attention, and she looked devastated."  
  
Xander was afraid to ask but... "At what point did she start reacting?"  
  
"When I started telling how someone might spike a drink with alcohol or drugs, in order to gain involuntary consent. How that was just as much rape as when someone used force."  
  
Xander stood and offered his hand to Detective Phillips. "I'm so sorry. There must have been some misunderstanding. Dawn must have been thinking about something else during your talk and you just misread her reaction. I'm sure Dawn hasn't been a victim of date rape for the simple fact that she doesn't date." He then turned and offered his hand to Principal Howard. "I'll take her home and give her a stern lecture about skipping class. I'm sure everything will be right as rain tomorrow."  
  
Principal Howard, instead of releasing Xander's hand, tightened her hold as her eyes narrowed. "How exactly are you related to Dawn?"  
  
Xander tugged on his hand as he answered, "Friend of the family, practically family."  
  
Principal Howard released his hand and folded her arms across her chest. Xander's eye followed Detective Phillips as he moved toward the door. The detective wasn't leaving though. He had just moved to block the exit. Xander's eye moved back to the principal.  
  
"Why are you down as Dawn's emergency contact?"  
  
"Because we live together."  
  
The principal's eyebrows were climbing up her forehead.  
  
"In a friendly way, but not too friendly, while her family is away."  
  
"Perhaps you can tell me where her real family are?"  
  
"Well, her mom died about two and a half years ago, her Dad is on a business trip to Europe and her sister went to Ohio to...on business."  
  
"Why was Dawn left with you?"  
  
"She had already started summer school when Buffy, her sister, was called away. I was just who was left."  
  
"No other family?"  
  
"I think an aunt and maybe some cousins in Chicago. No one that Dawn really knows."  
  
"And they felt you were the best person to care for a teenage girl."  
  
"The only other person Dawn knows in this town is an ex-boyfriend of her sister's, who she's not really fond of. I really was the only person available."  
  
"Exactly how long have you been alone with Dawn?"  
  
"Eight weeks."  
  
"You've been living alone with a teenage girl for two months?"  
  
"Eight weeks."  
  
A knock sounded at the door.  
  
"So you come to Los Angeles, you're trying to make new friends and you go out with a guy who seems really nice. Maybe he tells you you're pretty, shows you around town, invites you to a party to meet his friends. And when you wake up the next morning you realize that nice guy isn't so nice. He's taken advantage of you. Maybe he gave you more alcohol than you usually drink or maybe even drugged your drink."  
  
Dawn's hands tightened on the arms of the chair. *Crap. She was talking about the date rape thing. She thinks I was raped. If she only knew.*  
  
"Dawn, you have nothing to feel ashamed about. It's not your fault. I know it's hard, but you really need to consider going to the police about this. If you don't, he will just continue."  
  
"Ms. White, I was not raped."  
  
"Dawn, I know..."  
  
"You don't know anything!" Dawn's grip on the chair helped propel her forward as she protested.  
  
Dawn immediately lowered her voice. "I'm sorry, Ms. White. I realize it's your job to ask about all this stuff, but I am not and never have been a victim of date rape, or any other kind for that matter. I am fine and I would like to leave now. It's almost time for school to be out and I'm supposed to meet someone."  
  
"Dawn, I can help..."  
  
Dawn held up her hand. "Please stop! I realize now I wasn't slapped into detention for skipping because you think I'm some kind of victim. If you'll just find out how much detention I have so I can leave, I'd appreciate it."  
  
"Ok, Dawn. I'll go visit with the principal. You'll wait here?"  
  
"Sure, whatever." Dawn slumped down in the seat with her legs extended in front of her. She was radiating attitude.  
  
"I'll be back in a moment."  
  
Dawn shrugged. 


	15. Chapter 15 Dealing

Chapter 15: Dealing  
  
They all stood, frozen. Then the knock came again.  
  
"Detective, would you please..." Principal Howard motioned to the door.  
  
"Sure," he said. He was careful to keep himself between Xander and the door as he opened it. "Yes?"  
  
"Oh, Detective Phillips, I spoke to Dawn. Perhaps we can close the door so we can speak privately."  
  
"Dawn? You've been talking to Dawn? Did you upset her?" Xander fired the questions at Ms. White as he walked toward her.  
  
Detective Phillips stepped forward to block Xander. "Back off!"  
  
Ms. White hesitated, then stepped forward into the room and closed the door. She briefly rested her hand on the detective's arm. "Let me speak to him." She approached Xander, hand outstretched. "Hello, I'm Ms. White. I'm a counselor here at the school and yes, I have spoken to Dawn. Perhaps we can sit down and I'll try to explain the circumstances."  
  
"I've already heard the explanation from the principal and the detective. Now I want to see Dawn."  
  
"I think you're the one that needs to be explaining," offered Detective Phillips.  
  
"I don't understand." Ms. White looked confused. "I just spoke to Dawn and she said that she was not the victim of date rape or any other kind. I believe she was telling the truth. I think there's something going on, but honestly don't think this is it. There is the possibility of post- traumatic stress disorder since she was one of the survivors from Sunnydale. I really need to do a full evaluation."  
  
"Not date rape since she 'doesn't date'." Detective Phillips air-quoted the last bit before continuing. "But was it something else. Did you force that little girl to..."  
  
"NO! I didn't force her." burst out Xander, before continuing quietly. "And she's not a little girl."  
  
Detective Phillips looked Xander in the eye. "Statutory?"  
  
Xander hesitated. It was the only way to divert their attention from Dawn. He dropped his head before nodding. "Yeah."  
  
Detective Phillips looked over to Principal Howard before explaining. "Consensual sex with a minor. Still illegal in this state."  
  
A commotion outside the door drew their attention. Dawn burst through the door, crossed the room, and had thrown herself into Xander's arms before anyone could move. The receptionist was standing in the doorway. "She came out of the office and was across the waiting room before I could stop her."  
  
Principal Howard waved her out the door, "It's fine, Mrs. Beckett. We'll handle things from here."  
  
They waited until the door was closed again. Then Ms. White spoke first, "Dawn, I thought you were going to wait for me?"  
  
"It doesn't take that long to find out I've got three weeks detention, so I came looking for you."  
  
"Dawn!" Dawn looked at Xander as he pulled back to look at her face. "Detention?" She shrugged as she gave him her "What can I say" look. Then she turned back to the others and continued, "Then I saw the footprint."  
  
"The footprint?" inquired Ms. White.  
  
"The clay from his current construction site. I knew it was Xander, and if you called him you had probably explained what happened today." She turned to look at Xander. "I had to see if you hated me for what I did to you."  
  
"What you did to him?"  
  
Dawn turned and noticed for the first time that Detective Phillips was in the room. She drew herself further into Xander's arms as she shrank back from the officer. She looked back to Xander's face. "Am I going to be arrested?" she asked as tears trembled on her lashes. "Will I have to go to jail?"  
  
"No. Of course not. You're going to be fine. You're gonna be just fine." Xander soothed her as he stroked her hair.  
  
"You didn't tell her that she could be arrested for..." Detective Phillips sounded incredulous.  
  
"No! Of course not." Xander regretted his harsh tone immediately as Dawn cringed.  
  
Principal Howard quickly decided that if cooler heads were to prevail, someone else was going to have to take charge. She clapped her hands together and immediately had everyone's attention.  
  
"I think we need to sit down and talk. Why don't we let Ms. White raid the mini-fridg in her office. She keeps drinks for her visitors in there. Detective, perhaps you could help her? Dawn, what would you like. I know a lot of students like Red Bull."  
  
Dawn looked at Xander. "I don't know. It has a lot of caffeine. I think I'll just stick with Sprite." She looked back at Xander and smiled when she saw him smile.  
  
Ms. White and Detective Phillips left to find sodas. Principal Howard looked at Dawn and Xander and smiled, "School will be out in a few minutes so we should be able to talk undisturbed."  
  
"Oh." Dawn put her hand over her mouth as she turned to look at Xander.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm supposed to meet Amber after school. I asked if I could go to her house tonight." Dawn dropped her eyes as she finished. "I didn't think I would be able to face you after I realized..."  
  
"Dawn, why don't you go ahead and meet her. Tell her that you and I are having a little meeting with the principal. If you still want to go to her house later, I'll drop you by on the way home."  
  
"Ok. I'll be right back," and she headed for her regular meeting place with Amber.  
  
"She's a sweet girl," said Principal Howard.  
  
"Yeah," said Xander proudly, "She's the best."  
  
Detective Phillips overheard as he and Ms. White returned.  
  
Principal Howard immediately went into command mode. "I think we all agree that we want what's best for Dawn." Getting no disagreement, she continued, "So I think we need to keep our cool and do our best to not upset her. We want her to be able to tell us the whole story without being pressured."  
  
Detective Phillips immediately protested, "Pressured. The girl won't even order a soda with caffeine because he doesn't approve. You don't honestly think she'll say something that might get him in trouble with him sitting in the room. She needs to be taken downtown and interrogated without him around."  
  
"You are NOT interrogating Dawn!" protested Xander. "I admitted to statutory rape. If you want to arrest me, fine. Just give me time to get someone here who can take care of her."  
  
Detective Phillips directed a piercing glance at Xander. "You said you were with her because you were the only person available. Were you lying?"  
  
"No, I wasn't lying. But I could get the ex-boyfriend I told you about earlier. He could watch her until Buffy can get here from Ohio."  
  
"Why would Buffy be coming from Ohio? Why would I have to stay with Angel 'til she gets here?" They turned to see Dawn standing in the doorway. "Xander, are you going somewhere?"  
  
Detective Phillips stepped forward. "Mr. Harris has confessed to statutory rape. We will need to take him down town, process him, and place him in holding, pending a bail hearing. If he makes bail, he will have a restraining order issued against him that restricts contact with the minor in question."  
  
"No." Dawn whispered as she collapsed to the floor.  
  
Xander rushed forward and gather Dawn up in his arms. He carried her into the principal's office and placed her on the couch. He turned to look at the detective. "You didn't have to tell her like that, you bozo. What if she had hurt herself?"  
  
"I didn't know she was going to faint. And you're the one who had sex with a minor so I somehow don't think her welfare is one of your priorities. It apparently didn't concern you that you might hurt her."  
  
"I didn't hurt her." Xander's shoulders slumped as he ran his hands down his face. He felt like he had been doing that a lot lately. He reached down to brush the hair back from her face. She looked so young and pale. "She said I didn't hurt her."  
  
"You son of a bitch," exploded Detective Phillips. "You don't know? Were you drunk?"  
  
"Xander?"  
  
Xander turned back to the couch and took Dawn's hand as he sat on the edge. "I'm here, Dawn."  
  
"You said wherever you were. You promised..."  
  
"That I'd come running. I remember."  
  
"You can't come running, if you're in jail."  
  
"It's best this way. You only have another couple of weeks of school here. When you finish you can join Buffy in Ohio with the others. They can keep you safe. Besides, research girl here. You can hit Giles up for that job. You may be needing it."  
  
"You think so."  
  
"You're a strong woman, Dawn." He grinned at her. "I think it would take a little more than one of my screw-ups to put you into a faint."  
  
"Oh, I hope you're right."  
  
"And just think," he added jokingly, "I might just be safe from Buffy in prison. I just hope Willow doesn't go all protective over you. We already know how safe jail would be with her around."  
  
"This is all my fault. I can't let you take the blame." She sat up and threw her arms around Xander's neck. As she squeezed him tight, she whispered, "I wish I had never drugged you."  
  
"Dawn, NO!" Xander shouted as he pulled back, knowing what it took for her to say it. "Dawn, no." His voice had dropped to a whisper as he looked into her eyes.  
  
"Xander, I'll gladly give up our beautiful night together, I'll even give up my baby, if I can take back what I've done to you. You don't deserve to have your life ruined because I'm stupid."  
  
"Dawn, you're not stupid." He smiled, "Just occasionally immature, like the rest of us."  
  
Suddenly, Xander looked around the room. "Hey, we're still here. I guess this counselor wasn't a vengeance demon." Their eyes meet and they chimed in together, "Justice demon."  
  
"Would you care to explain that?" Detective Phillips asked, reminding Xander and Dawn that they still had an audience.  
  
Xander helped Dawn sit up and joined her on the couch. They both turned to look at Detective Phillips. They looked at each other, then back to him. Both started shaking their heads.  
  
"Not really," said Xander.  
  
"What about the rest of that conversation? What did she mean about drugging you? What baby?" He rapid fired the questions before turning his focus to Dawn. "Are you pregnant?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"And what was that about you drugging him?"  
  
*I can't let this hurt Xander.* Dawn drew in a deep breath then said in a rush, "Xander didn't rape me. I raped him."  
  
"Dawn, NO!"  
  
Dawn ignored Xander and plowed ahead. "I put cold medicine in his food knowing he was on his way to a bar and would be drinking. I waited an hour, called the bar, told the bartender that my husband had been drinking before he left the house and was probably thoroughly snockered."  
  
"Snockered?" questioned Xander.  
  
Dawn looked back to Xander. "I heard Giles say it once."  
  
Responding to Xander's puzzled look; "It sounded better than 'drunk'."  
  
She turned back to her attentive audience. "I then asked if the bartender would be so kind as to pour my husband into a cab and send him home. When Xander got there I took him into the bedroom, gave him enough encouragement to get him started and just let things happen. I know if Xander had at any point realized it was me, he would have stopped. So it's not his fault. You can't put him in jail." Her voice dropped to a whisper as her eyes returned to Xander. "I need him."  
  
Dawn tore her gaze from Xander to turn back to Detective Phillips. "I didn't realize until I heard the lecture today, what I had done. I mean, I had heard of date rape before, but I just never connected what I was doing with it until you spoke today."  
  
Dawn took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and put on her brave face. "But I realize that's no excuse. Will I go to jail?"  
  
"Well, that depends." Detective Phillips was giving them both a stern look from beneath his eyebrows.  
  
"She is not going to jail," said Xander fiercely. "You cannot put a seventeen year old girl who is probably pregnant in jail."  
  
"It happens all the time, son. Now, will you let me finish. Under the laws of the state of California, someone of legal age who has consensual sex with a minor can be charged with statutory rape by a parent or legal guardian of the minor. Legal authorities or school officials may also file the charges, if they deem it in the best interest of the child."  
  
"But I..."  
  
Up when the detective's hand, halting Dawn's words.  
  
"Young lady, will you please let me finish. I think in this case, this would not be deemed 'consensual' because although the minor party consented, the legal party did not. Which brings us to the issue of rape. Not a word," he said, waving his finger at Xander, "not a word."  
  
"In cases where both the victim and perpetrator are adults, the charges are usually brought by the victim. In many of these cases if the victim refuses to file charges the perp walks. Only when there is enough evidence to convict the perpetrator without the testimony of the victim, usually testimony by one or more credible witnesses, can authorities file the charges."  
  
"What about when the perp?" Dawn hesitated with a questioning look at the detective. He nodded and Dawn continued, "the perp is a minor and the victim is not?"  
  
"I really don't think that's an issue since in California any minor who is pregnant is automatically emancipated, i.e. freed from the custody of parents or legal guardians. This gives the pregnant minor the liberty to make decisions regarding their person."  
  
Xander tilted his head and looked at the detective. "Has anyone ever told you that you talk funny?"  
  
"Xander."  
  
Xander turned back to Dawn at her warning tone. "Yeah?"  
  
Dawn plastered on her biggest, fakest smile and spoke through gritted teeth. "Do not insult the man who can put us in jail, no matter how funny he talks."  
  
"Yes, dear."  
  
Detective Phillips watched the exchange in bafflement. He finally shook his head and went on. "Basically, if Mr. Harris doesn't choose to file charges against you, Ms. Summers, then there is no case."  
  
"Well, I don't choose to file," stated Xander emphatically.  
  
"Now there's a shocker. Yes, well,..." continued Detective Phillips, clearing his throat, "that still doesn't change the fact that what she did was illegal, not to mention dangerous. She could have killed you."  
  
"We've already had a discussion about boundaries, trust issues and how she is never doing anything like this ever again. We also discussed the fact that she is a minor. I just didn't want to make her feel worse by pointing out that she could actually be put in jail for this particular stunt. As for the dangerous, Dawn is research girl. She told me that she looked up studies done by drug companies, by attorneys working on lawsuits, and by the medical community; she read medical journal articles; she even did her own calculations based on my weight and the milligrams of active ingredients in the cold pills she gave me. She knows how long it takes me to finish a beer and how long it would take me to have enough in my system to do what she wanted. So, basically, if anyone outside the medical profession is drugging me, Dawn would be the person to do it."  
  
Ms. White finally broke into the conversation. She had waited as long as she could. "But why Dawn? Did you have a crush on him or an obsession with him? Why go to that much trouble to have sex with a man who didn't want you?"  
  
"Hey! I'm wantable."  
  
"Dawn, I'm sure that's not what she meant. You're beautiful and very...wantable." Xander reassured her. "Your sex appeal isn't the issue."  
  
Dawn focused back on the question. "I misunderstood something I saw and thought Xander was going to commit suicide. I knew he wouldn't desert me if I needed him. Once I got the idea, I did the research, made the plan and set everything up. The next morning I hit him with the 'I might be pregnant, you can't die and leave me right now' thing."  
  
"So you may not be pregnant?"  
  
"Maybe. Maybe not. But I am over a week late. We're going to do the test tomorrow. There are tests that will show results earlier but their accuracy ratings decrease proportionally."  
  
"Let me guess," Detective Phillips said, "research?"  
  
Xander nodded. "Ever since Dawn gave me the 'might be pregnant' news, she's been researching. Pregnancy in general, teen pregnancy in particular, fetal development, proper nutrition—hence the 'no caffeine' rule. Her rule, not mine."  
  
Detective Phillips was looking suspicious again. "You said when you first arrived that you and Dawn were living as friends, and you act like you don't remember anything from that night. But you seem very friendly to just be friends. I mean, 'We're going to do the test tomorrow.' It sounds more than friendly."  
  
"Detective, Dawn and I have known each other for seven years. We have faced life and death together. Whatever her motivation, she chose me to be her first lover. We may be going through a pregnancy and raising a child together. We are friends. I think that is a good foundation where we can build a relationship that is way more than just friends if we decide that's what we want."  
  
"Well," said Detective Phillips as he held out his hand to Xander, "I wish you luck, however this turns out."  
  
Xander shook his hand. "Thank you, sir. We appreciate your understanding."  
  
The detective turned to Dawn. "Young lady, I think it's best if you keep your feet on the straight and narrow. Avoiding alcohol and drugs would be your best bet. And I don't want to hear of any shoplifting either."  
  
"Xander, you told him about that?" said Dawn as she punched his arm.  
  
Xander shied away from her with a grimace. "It may have come up."  
  
Dawn just rolled her eyes at Xander before turning back to the detective. "Yes, sir. No shoplifting. No drugs or alcohol. Straight and narrow."  
  
Detective Phillips' eyes narrowed briefly as he tried to determine if she was mocking him. He decided it was just teen-speak and decided to let it go. Respect for authority just wasn't taught like it used to be. He turned back to Principal Howard as he said, "Thank you for the invitation to speak. I always appreciate the opportunity to help educate the next generation."  
  
"Of course, Detective Phillips. We appreciate you volunteering your free time for this program." Principal Howard stated as she leaned forward and offered her hand.  
  
As the two shook hands, Xander and Dawn both focused on the principal's arm where her sleeve had moved. A small, key tattoo was visible just above her right wrist. They looked at one another with eyebrows raised. Xander shook his head slightly, indicating they should wait to talk about it. They turned back to the room just as the detective finished his goodbye to Ms. White. Detective Phillips gave a last nod to the room at large before leaving, closing the door firmly behind him.  
  
"Well," said Xander, "now that that's out of the way, I guess we're free to leave?" The last was said with a questioning look at Principal Howard.  
  
"There is still the small matter of class skipping."  
  
Dawn's face fell. "Oh, yeah."  
  
"Dawn said something about three weeks." Xander flinched as Dawn's elbow caught him in the ribs.  
  
Ms. White ducked her head to hide her smile as she watched the exchange.  
  
Principal Howard smiled also. "Three weeks would be a little hard to do since there are only two weeks left in the summer semester."  
  
At Dawn's look of relief, she continued, "However, I think we both know that if there is no punishment, Mr. Simpson will make your life miserable."  
  
Dawn grinned. *So even the principal knew what a little toad he was.*  
  
"What I'd like for you to do, Dawn, is to visit with Ms. White each afternoon for the next week. If that interferes with Mrs. Parker giving you a ride home, I can give you a lift. I live near you."  
  
"That's okay," said Xander quickly, "My schedule is flexible. If she can't ride home with Amber, I'll pick her up. You never know, Ms. White may decide she needs to see me too, like family counseling. We could get a two for the price of one deal."  
  
They did another round of goodbyes and Xander hustled Dawn out the door. 


	16. Chapter 16 Devil in Disguise?

Chapter 16: Devil in Disguise?  
  
It wasn't until they were driving away in the car that Dawn began to think there was more to their hasty exit than Xander's fear of principals' offices. He kept glancing in the rearview mirror.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Xander glanced at Dawn before turning his eye back to the road. "Nothing," he muttered.  
  
"Uh-huh. Not going there. You agreed to treat me like an adult. That means not hiding stuff from me, even the bad stuff." Dawn's determined face warned Xander that she wasn't going to let this one go.  
  
"Alright," Xander said. "I just think it's a little weird that your principal knew so much about you. Admittedly, she could have seen our address when they were trying to contact me. But how would she know that Mrs. Parker and Amber give you a ride to and from school?"  
  
Dawn's eyes widened. She hadn't thought of that.  
  
"Throw in the fact that it was the second time we've seen that same tattoo since we've been in LA, and we've got a few to many coincidences to be coincidences."  
  
"Third," said Dawn.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's the third time I've seen it."  
  
"WHAT!?" The car jerked sideways as Xander's grip tightened on the wheel. He brought the car back into the right lane before continuing. "When did this happen?"  
  
"It was around the last of June. I was at the mall with Katie and Amber. This guy bumped into me and knocked my shopping bag out of my hand. He apologized as he got down and picked up stuff to put back in the bag. When he looked up at me, he stopped talking. He stared for a moment, then went back to gathering stuff up. He handed me the bag—that's when I saw the tattoo—and left without saying another word."  
  
"Did he act like he recognized you?" asked Xander.  
  
"Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I thought it was strange but Katie and Amber didn't give it a second thought. Well, they gave it four or five thoughts, but they didn't think it was weird."  
  
"What did they think it was?"  
  
"Katie said he was smitten with my charms and struck dumb by my beautiful smile."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Katie is a lot romantic and even more dramatic."  
  
"Not a good combination in a teenage girl. What did Amber think of it?"  
  
Dawn chuckled. "She said he could probably just see up my skirt from that angle and was drowning in his own drool at the sight of my panties."  
  
Xander cast a reproving look at Dawn. "Sometimes Amber reminds me just a little too much of Janice."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with Janice!"  
  
"Nothing that a few years in jail wouldn't cure."  
  
As Dawn opened her mouth to protest again, Xander went on. "About how old was this guy? Did he have any distinguishing characteristics?"  
  
"I think you've been watching too many cop shows. But no, no distinguishing marks, other than the tattoo. He was fourteen, maybe fifteen, and dressed like any other guy there. He was alone, which is a little unusual, but he could have been meeting someone."  
  
"Mmmm. Three people, two males, one female, all different ages, all with the same tattoo. Sounds like a research project in the making."  
  
"But not tonight," said Dawn. "None of these people have tried to hurt me. One even saved me. And if the principal is in their group, they've known where to find me for a while."  
  
Xander hesitated before conceding, "Okay. So, you still want to go to Amber's?"  
  
"No." said Dawn. "I told her earlier that I probably wouldn't be coming. After all, we have plans for tomorrow."  
  
Xander smiled as he reached over to cover Dawn's hand with his own. "I guess we do. So, do we need to go shopping?"  
  
"Yes, we definitely need to shop."  
  
"Then shop we shall." After Xander finished switching the necessary lanes, he glanced back at Dawn. "I think LA has it's own crisis day."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You know, how the major weird stuff in Sunnydale usually happened on Tuesday. I think LA's weird day must be Friday, or possibly Saturday."  
  
Dawn just grinned 


	17. Chapter 17 Dating

Chapter 17: Dating?  
  
Later, Italian takeout consumed and a pregnancy test waiting in the master bath, Xander and Dawn were curled up on the sofa, watching "While You Were Out." They were mixing their cuisine and having baklava for dessert.  
  
"That piece would look better if he used biscuit joints."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. Sometimes watching home improvement shows with Xander was like watching fighting movies with Buffy.  
  
Xander continued, "Of course that would take some time and with that carpentry load and Leslie buried in sewing world...sometimes those designers expect the impossible."  
  
Dawn finished her pastry. She then brushed the crumbs into her paper napkin, slowly and meticulously. After every crumb was up and residing on the coffee table with the remains of their dinner, Dawn gathered her courage. She didn't want to push Xander, but she had to know.  
  
"Xander."  
  
Xander pulled his eye away from the tv.  
  
"Did you mean what you told Detective Phillips? About the friends and the maybe more than friends?"  
  
Xander gave Dawn his full attention. "Yes, Dawn. I think friendship is a very good foundation to build a relationship on. But why would you question the friends part?"  
  
"I've just always felt like you and Willow were Buffy's friends. Like you weren't really mine."  
  
Xander's arms tightened around Dawn. "I do think of you as my friend. I hope you think the same of me."  
  
Dawn smiled and Xander marveled again at how her face lit up. But it quickly dimmed.  
  
"The a...the more than friends part. You said if we both wanted it. I...I just wanted you to know that...that I do. Want it. Do...do you?" Her eyes dropped as she said the last.  
  
Xander's hand went to her chin and brought her eyes back to his. He smiled tenderly as he said, "Yes. I think we need to take things slow, but yes, I do want."  
  
"Does this mean we're dating?" asked Dawn.  
  
"Dating? I guess we are."  
  
Dawn's face lit again as she threw her arms around Xander. Xander returned her embrace before he raised her face to his and captured her lips. The first time he had consciously given her a real kiss.  
  
She had the sweetest mouth and it wasn't just the honey. Xander delighted in each movement, every nibble to her soft lips, Dawn's eager participation. As his fingers twined in her long hair, Xander knew it was getting way too hot, way too fast.  
  
He pulled back and grabbed Dawn's shoulders to move her away from him.  
  
"Slow," Xander admonished gently.  
  
Dawn grinned. "If you say so Xander."  
  
The End 


	18. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
"Xander, what time is it?"  
  
"It's two minutes after the last time you asked, Dawn." *That pacing is going to drive me nuts...*  
  
"Why is this taking so long? It shouldn't take this long."  
  
"It's only ten minutes, Dawn. You can wait ten minutes." *...if the rambling doesn't get to me first.*  
  
"But we've been waiting forever."  
  
"There's only a little bit left to go." *Is it possible to speed up time. Surely, science has managed that by now.*  
  
Dawn flopped onto the bed beside him. "I just don't think I can take waiting another minute. Arrgh." She ran her fingers into her hair and pulled.  
  
Xander rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down into Dawn's face. He just sat looking until Dawn finally looked back at him and said, "What?"  
  
"You know Dawnie," Xander said casually as he looked at the little wand he was waving around in his left hand. "If waiting ten minutes makes you that crazy, then by the end of the next thirty-five weeks you may be completely bald."  
  
Dawn froze. "Thirty-five weeks?"  
  
"Yeah. It will look kinda funny if mommy and baby neither one have hair."  
  
She looked like she was afraid to hope. "Baby?"  
  
"I guess we can always hope the baby has lots of hair."  
  
"Did you say baby?"  
  
"Yeah. I said baby." He moved the wand into her line of sight and watched as her eyes focused on the plus sign.  
  
"Congratulations, Dawn. We made a baby."  
  
Author's Note: I'm already working on it. Those of you who wish to send flames and death threats may do so to the address in my profile. 


End file.
